Suicide itself is tragic. It is neither heroic nor cowardice. It is mostly merely a feeling of hopelessness and depression
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‘I started a joke that started the whole world crying, little did I know that the joke was on me…’ the haunting lyrics of the Bee Gees came to my mind, when over the weekend somebody announced at a party that Mr. Bean had committed suicide. Of course I believed the forward, given the number of comedians that end their life.
I once read an interesting article, after the death of Robin Williams, written by comedian David Wong, where he bares his soul as to why comedians are at a risk of committing suicide. Buried deep within the walls of comedy are raw wounds of brokenness and feelings of despair. It's such pain and ugliness in life that the only way to see it is through a joke and while all of us can see the bright beautiful smile that is painted on the clown, little do we see the tears that fill their eyes.
Yes so when the news came about Mr. Rowan Atkinson alias Mr. Bean’s death, flashes of Robin whom I loved as an actor came to mind. It dampened the mood of the party (given the number of kids there), to say the least.
But what got my goat was when I learnt next day that it was a Facebook hoax. Well if you too were part of such a weekend then you know that this joke was a matter of crying. For curiosity sake and part of my research for this article I googled Rowen Atkinson’s death, and it appalled me to see the number of times his death in particular has been a Facebook hoax.
Why would someone hoax another person’s death? Normally such interesting narratives would be part of crime either passion, power or money. I tried to see the funny side of it but just couldn’t.
Suicide itself is tragic. It is neither heroic nor cowardice. It is mostly merely a feeling of hopelessness and depression.
Theorist Edwin Shneidman discusses why people attempt suicide. Suicide is an obsession and the act is the resultant compulsion. There are those who feel hopeless and a sense of despair reigns over their mindset.
Death seekers clearly and explicitly want and seek to end their life. Their intention have been well planned with subtle goodbyes, preparing for their death by writing a suicide note. Often such depression might not be obvious but hidden behind a mask of happiness. Suicidal thoughts, actions and behaviour are on a continuum with some stating clear intentions and others showing ambivalence and confluence. If you have doubts it’s often best to ask rather than hope they would not risk doing something like that. These intentions are fleeting and can be prevented. It is during this time they need intervention and close monitoring because the act happens unexpected. Clearly
people suffering from terminal illness often commit suicide and fall under the category of Death initiators. They also have a clear intention to die but here the difference is that they are hastening death which in their lives is inevitable.
There are still others who are referred to as death ignorers. They intend to end their life because they believe there is another better life and this existence will be over and a new life will follow. Mass suicide by religious cults, suicide bombers are classic examples of this form of suicide.
Another category of suicides is sub intentional deaths, where people act in manners that indirectly are self-killing. Classic examples are heart patient who continues to smoke and ignore death.
However, the suicides that are often most tragic are the Death Darers. Their intentions to die are ambivalent but they take actions that greatly increase their chances of death. Their suicide attempts are actually a tantrum. They seek to die to draw attention and make someone feel guilty.
I hear parents narrate their own difficult moments with youngsters when they bear the brunt of such blackmail. Demands are varied but always a stubborn wanting.
When did this behavior get conditioned? Tracing the history of such cases one sees that there has been conditioning taking place forever. The child’s demands have always been met even against the better judgment of the parent. Parents feel, ‘I did not get this so my child should enjoy such privileges’.
Even more disturbing perhaps is the fact that youngsters today spend more time in the virtual world communicating with each other that they are losing a sense of reality that accompanies life. Their emotions are expressed through emoticons, over a screen; denying a reality of feelings, emotions that happen through eye contact and touch. The plasticity of such communication often colours their perception of what it means to live and die per se. Like a game, death is a cursor and a press of a button. But then again we can reload and begin at the next level with the hero still standing. So when one takes Ratol and goes back on line to announce their intention to friends and the world to see, somewhere their belief is that the hero will live again. Something much like the death hoax. They don’t perceive either finality of such actions or how it is going to affect their loved ones.
