Conversations can be powerful and enriching, provided there is an open mind to see another’s point of view, enough prudence to figure out what is the takeaway for oneself, the wisdom to acknowledge that someone may know better than oneself, and the tact to correct if the conversation is without facts and objectivity.
In today’s times, such dialogues are rare as most of us are more in front of our screens than in front of a person. The times we do interact with each other may be due to work or obligations, and not really because we mindfully choose to do so. Thus, we may be slowly losing human connection.
This simple drop in human interaction may subtly cause us to lose insight into understanding the behaviour of people. People are wonderfully complex and there is still much to learn about the human mind and demeanour.
No one lives in a vacuum, and individuals are much influenced in their thoughts by forces around them, be it social, economic, environmental or psychological. These factors have an outcome on human thinking and behaviour in multiple ways. Comprehending these factors is not just helpful in understanding others but ourselves as well.
In this age of social media, this barrage of influences almost moves at a lightning speed because we are constantly reacting to news and information that is readily available at the tips of our fingers. Add to that that everyone appears to be a self-appointed expert on all topics under the sun. Our mind has to process all this information, and sometimes it can be overwhelming and confusing at the same time.
Mental health is a keyword nowadays, and with good reason, as it shapes the quality of our life. It is encouraging to note that there is an acknowledgement that the status of one’s mental well-being is as important as one’s physical health.
A sound mental disposition allows one to enjoy the goodness of being alive, face the challenges and pressures of daily living while adjusting to the chaos of life. This often may involve unlearning and relearning certain dispositions whilst dealing with different persons and situations.
Of course, the best lessons learned are those from mistakes made. It may require that one’s frame of reference needs to be adjusted to accommodate another person’s point of view every now and then. It is not easy to see another’s perspective when ideas and understanding clash, given the heavy weight of one’s own ego.
Conflicts will always arise. Each of us has our own predispositions in thinking, and sometimes our thoughts may not necessarily align with each other’s perspective. In fact, it does not necessarily require them to do so. As we interact with the environment around us, we may have to find a middle path to deal with the world and the nature of people and things. I find that, instead of insisting on one’s own way of thinking or dismissing someone else’s, it would be better to agree to disagree. And sometimes it is better to be kind than right. Finding a way to accommodate different ideas and thinking is the way to go forward, while taking away what would help one grow in practicality and wisdom.
Developing such an objective attitude helps in inculcating a positive and balanced view of the world. There will always be some incidents, experiences and news that will set a barrage of thoughts racing in our minds and a range of emotions that accompany those thoughts. And as change is inevitable, being ‘mindful’ will go a long way in making our own little world better. ‘The Mindful Goan’, starting this Sunday, is an effort to do just this.
(Associate Professor and Head of Department of Psychology at St Xavier’s College, Mapusa)
