In a healthy discussion authors Shreevatsa Nevatia and Urvashi Bahuguna open up at the Goa Art and Literary Festival 2018 about their own mental issues to Sumana Roy and how both of them settled at a valid vent by writing them out
BHARATI PAWASKAR
Mental illnesses are looked upon as social stigmas, not only in India but generally across the globe and society preferably keeps people who suffer such ailments at a bay from the mainstream life. But we need to talk about psychological illnesses just like physical ailments and help not only those who suffer from them but also those who are around them as well.
While admitting that there are very few books and authors in India who dare to touch mental health issues in their books, authors Shreevatsa Nevatia and Urvashi Bahuguna talk about reading - ‘Em and The Big Hoom’ and ‘A Book of Light: When a Loved One Has a Different Mind’, both written and edited by Jerry Pinto respectively, the first being a narrative and the other a compilation of 13 real-life stories.
Referring to his own book, ‘How to Travel Light: My Memories of Madness and Melancholia’, which is also a narrative of the journey of the author’s own mental illness he suffered in 2004 and the process he underwent to overcome that, Shreevatsa Nevatia admits, “Writing allows you to arrive at a version of truth that you find palatable.”
Urvashi Bahuguna, on the other hand discloses that writing the first draft terrifies her. “I find it difficult to pen the raw version of my story. When I write, I share my early drafts with a friend, and try to get feedback. If there’s too much of emotion, lot of biases, prejudices, I check again. I feel I must tell a story that’s fair, and ensure that it’s unbiased. That’s not just my story but it should be a good story. If there’s a mention of some person in my book, then I show the draft to him or her. Lots of conversations happen about it. Many say ‘yes’ and hug, others said ‘no, that they don’t want to be a part of my story.’ And that’s okay.”
“There is a story behind any illness, be it mental or physical. And the story is too long to fit in a CV. I tried to fill in the blanks by writing a book,” says Nevatia who wrote about his experiences of mental illness when a bill in Rajya Sabha was passed on mental illness. “I wrote about it as a journalist writes about election. While doing that, things changed. It allowed me to look at myself from a distance. This was better than few sessions of therapy. I wanted more of that introspection. That’s why I wrote,” states Nevatia.
Bahuguna, a poet, observed that when she worked for NGOs, she was ill. She felt that the work was fulfilling but not good for her mental health. Then when editor Ila Anusuya asked her to write an essay, it came easy. Bahuguna felt tired, never felt rested and she expressed all that in the essay. Many people wrote to her after reading her essay that they too have been through the same situation. “I felt sad to read them. But I made a powerful connect with these people. I replied to their letters. Then I wrote some more essays and soon it became a manuscript,” Bahuguna smiles.
Do the writers revisit what they have written and re-edit? Nevatia confesses that a part of him still feels uncomfortable when he writes. “I edit a lot while I write. I try and mute sentiment. Am I protective, about friends or family? No. I am protective about myself. It’s perhaps important to convert your emotions into writing. I tried to be as true as possible to my version of truth. Did I leave something? No,” he asserts.
Both the writers were vocal about the cause of their mental illnesses and that writing gets in the way when they have to deal with it. “When I am depressed, I put away writing. Instead I paint, exercise and divert my attention,” says Bahuguna. For her, it’s bio-chemical. “There’s chemical imbalance in my body,” she discloses. These chemical imbalances trigger, especially when one is young - 18-22 age and sharing your fears and anxieties with friends helps a lot instead of shutting yourself in, she feels.
Nevatia, on the other hand confessed that he was born this way (bipolar) and it triggered when he was 23. Child sexual abuse triggers it, he mentioned. Nevatia’s first reader is his friend.
“I write and give it to him to read. Then I wait anxiously for him to respond. It’s important to have that one person in your life,” he maintains. There has to be healthy discussions on mental health issues so that help can be offered at the right time before things go haywire. And more authors must come forward to write on these delicate topics so that each individual in the society grows and utilises his or her maximum potential.
