From the sidelines to the centre: Making room for every child

It’s a powerful idea. But valuing a life is not just something we say. It shows in what we do every day. Across Goa, autistic children are part of our communities. They go to our schools, attend family events, visit markets, and sit with us in places of worship. They are around us. And yet, many of them are often on the edges. Present, but not truly included. This gap between being there and truly belonging is what we need to think about.

What does belonging look like?

Take Rohan, a ten-year-old who loves trains. He can name every station of the Konkan Railway.

In school, he finds it hard to keep up with fast group conversations. During projects, his classmates take over because it is quicker. So Rohan mostly watches. He is part of the group, but not really included.

Now imagine one small change. The teacher gives him a role he is good at - drawing the map or listing facts. Suddenly, Rohan is involved. His classmates see his strengths. He is no longer left out. All it took was one small adjustment.

Why this matters

Children learn by doing. Not just in school, but at home, on the playground, during festivals, and in everyday life. Every time a child plays, helps, tries, fails, and tries again, they are learning and growing.

When an autistic child is often left out, their confidence drops and they may start to feel like they don’t belong. But when they are included, when they have a role, a place, and someone who waits for them, they start to see what they can do. They feel that they matter.

Goa’s strength

Goa is a place where people are connected. Families know each other. Neighbours share food and celebrations. This closeness is powerful.

Autistic children don’t only need programmes or policies. They need people around them who notice them and include them in small, everyday ways.

An uncle who always finds something to ask Rohan about trains. A neighbour who waves and waits for a reply. A classmate who saves him a seat. A shopkeeper who does not rush. A karate coach who shows the move one more time. These are small things. But they matter.

The change we need

Many people hold back because they are unsure. They worry about saying or doing the wrong thing. But doing nothing also has an impact. Children notice.

The good news is that people do not need special training to make a difference in the life of an autistic person. They do not need to understand everything about autism.

What matters is something simpler. Being open. Being patient. And making an effort to include them in what is already happening.

At a family meal, let a child help set the table. At a sports event, give them a role. At a festival, prepare them for what will happen. At a religious gathering, sit with them and make them feel welcome.

Every life has value. But we can’t just say it. We have to show it through small, everyday actions.

Rohan knows every station on the Konkan Railway. He is ready to share what he knows. The question is - are we ready to ask?

(The author heads the autism program at Sethu, a social purpose organisation in Goa.)