I have accomplished all my goals in life and now there are neither problems nor challenges or expectations in life. What should I do now? Please note that I am also 29 like Messi but I can’t afford retirement.
JJ, the genius
Well genius, you obviously seem to have missed something. Were any of your goals about making enough money to retire early? No? Sheesh. I pity the fool! I find it hard to believe that you don’t have any problems in life? If you want to retire but can’t afford to, well, then you do have a problem my friend. Also, there’s the fact that Lionel Messi may have retired from international football but he still continues to play for Barcelona. Between his endorsements and his wages, he earns 36 million Euros per year. I am not even going to convert that to rupees, because it’s going to make me cry like a baby who just had his toy taken away from him and also needs a nappy change. Are you going to come and change my nappy? No? Then go out there and make some money!
A Uncle, the cynic
Hello Uncle
Why do people ride and drive like idiots? The other day, a car overtook me on the left, then cut across me, making me jam on the brakes and almost injure a biker who was behind me. This was not an outstation car but a local GA number plate. In fact, I later saw the car parked near my building, so it’s likely the fool lives near me. How do we educate these guys about better road ethics, and keeping other people’s feeling and lives in mind?
Ashley, Margao
Road ethics? Other people’s feelings? Educate people? Wait, is this the Oprah show? There’s something my father used to say to me when I was young. I didn’t pay heed to it then, but obviously, none of us usually listened to what our parents had to say. He said, “Everyone on the road is an idiot, always assume that.” I realise now that that gray haired man spoketh the trutheth. Wait, is it spoketh the truth? Trutheth doesn’t sound right. Anyway, everyone on the road is an idiot, including you. Everyone except for me, because I’m just cool like that. There’s not much you can do really, to stop people driving like idiots. You find people driving like that, and then a few days later, their parents will put out an emotional obituary. “My baba was such a nice boy, he was always so safe on the roads”. No ignoramus, your baba was a rash driver who is now walking around in hell with one leg. Ok, rant over.
Always, Antsy Uncle
I have a genuine problem here. Like the proverbial Chandler getting spanked by his boss in FRIENDS, I have colleagues who keep spanking me on my posterior. I do understand that I have an ample behind and if it were for Freud, their aggression probably stems out of some insecurity about theirs. However, I do wish they would redirect their energies on the palm of my hand instead. But how do I convey it to my colleagues without offending them?
Jenny from the block
This posterior you speak of, kindly paint me a mental picture please, so I can get an idea of how grvious this crime is? First of all, wouldn’t this spanking amount to sexual harassment? If I’m not mistaken, according to the Vishaka guidelines, this certainly does fall into that category. I have no idea how I know that. I swear I didn’t wink at that girl, there was something in my eye. I’m innocent for crying out loud! So, all you have to do is be firm (See what I did there?) and tell them not to spank you anymore. They can high five you if they really want to tickle the flesh, so as to speak. This spanking in public places is very disconcerting. Thank goodness none of those right wing outfits were around, they would blame it on the fact that you have a behind, or tight jeans. Shame on them!
Uncle from the buliding
