“Blood is thicker than water” is a saying we often hear, emphasizing that family ties by blood are considered stronger than bonds formed through acquaintance. However, the full version of this proverb is often forgotten: “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” This highlights that relationships formed through mutual respect and trust tend to be as secure as, if not more secure than, blood relations.
The definition of family differs from person to person. Often based on mutual trust and respect, the concept of a “found family” is becoming increasingly recognised.
Earlier, people commonly grew up in large households alongside extended relatives, neighbours, and closely knit communities, acting as one large support system. Today, this idea of finding belonging beyond blood relations is frequently explored in television shows and movies. One such example is Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. After his parents die, Harry struggles to find a sense of belonging. He eventually finds comfort, acceptance, and companionship with the Weasley family and his two closest friends.
For many individuals, family extends beyond parents, grandparents, and siblings. People living away from home often form strong bonds with those they share their lives with. Over time, these connections can feel just as meaningful as a biological family. “I have a big family, and growing up, it was always family first,” reflects Amrita Vinjamury, a Technical Solutions Engineer at Epic. “When I was younger, I thought it was simply because we are related by blood, but over time, I realised it was about choosing to stand by each other through everything. For me, yes, family is anyone you choose, consistently and wholeheartedly.”
As more young adults relocate from their hometowns, many find themselves spending long periods away from home and family. In these situations, friendships and shared living arrangements often become an important source of comfort and support.
“Living away from home and family means you often tend to spend more time with friends and roommates than your actual family. The common experience of shared struggle makes people bond fast. While the bond may not perfectly replicate a traditional family, it feels pretty close,” shares Harsh Naik, a software development engineer who has been living away from home for the past few years. Thus, daily routines and shared struggles while navigating unfamiliar places together often create strong emotional bonds over time.
Beyond traditional family structures, many people are now placing equal importance on emotional connections, acceptance, and support systems built outside their blood relations. For some, these chosen relationships become spaces of belonging and understanding, especially during emotionally difficult circumstances. “We become equally attached to our friends and other support groups. Since these bonds definitely have their importance, they often end up becoming our home away from home,” agrees Jairaj Sharma.
The concept of a chosen or found family is especially poignant for individuals who, under various circumstances, have lost connection with their biological families. “I have seen this more often with queer people like me; people who are not accepted by their blood relatives often find a family of their own,” says inclusivity advocate Safayraa, for whom family means being surrounded by people they can truly be themselves.
Gautami Devidas opens up about finding comfort in her chosen family as well. “Over the years, I have found people who have been safer than anyone I share blood with. While it is a little sad, not everyone grows up in an environment where they feel psychologically safe to open up. For people who never had that growing up for whatever reason, we do end up finding home in other people,” she shares.
Thus, families are not always defined by blood relations. Sometimes, it is the neighbour who sends you a new dish they have prepared, and other times, it is a friend you walk around with in a completely new city, relying solely on each other. In a world where people are increasingly moving away from home yet searching for connection more than ever, perhaps found families are proof that love, care, and loyalty have the power to turn strangers into a home away from home.
