PANAJI
Goa’s quality of life is enviable compared to the rest of the country, and that is perhaps one of the reasons for people all over the country wanting to settle down in our sunny State. However, the paradox to this is the fact that, as per records of the National Crime Records Bureau, Goa’s suicide rates are one of the highest compared to the national figures.
Of particular concern is that the numbers of young people aged between 18 and 35 years, dying by suicide within the State, also have been rising correspondingly, with the youngest being around 15 years.
When thoughts of death strike a young person who is at the threshold of life, it makes one question why someone who is supposedly in the best years of their life would not want to actually live.
BEYOND ACADEMIC STRESS
A lot has been attributed to the suicides of young people who often happen to be students. From academic pressures, mental health concerns, family and relationship issues to financial problems, all have the potential to push youngsters to the brink of desperation. There is no denying that these are very relevant and indeed the cause behind many suicides. However, could there be something beyond these? Like the recent collective suicide of three sisters, aged 12 years to 16 years, who, in their own words, expressed that the reason for their distress was the perceived threat to their identification, or rather, should one say, obsession with the Korean culture.
Across campuses all over the country, there has been a steady increase in student deaths. Some of these students are no doubt facing academic pressure in very competitive environments.
But these students are a cut above the rest; most of them have the calibre to attempt the toughest entry exams in the world. Their admissions into highly reputable institutions reflect their high functioning and cognitive ability, and yet, they choose not to live.
This choice makes one question whether we are sometimes overgeneralising certain causes behind suicide deaths. While academic pressure may be overwhelming for many, the easily available technological gadgets and aids for learning are at an all-time high to ease some of the challenges of academic stress.
ADAPTIVE LIFE SKILLS
Perhaps we are failing to teach youngsters tools for life. We give our youngsters everything we believe is right for them and in their best interests, but no actual life skills that will help them become resilient in life. One is rarely taught how to handle physical dangers, and many young persons will not know what exactly to do when their own safety and survival are threatened. Children hardly learn how to handle money, which is a lifelong skill that one needs to master. Many grow at a loss on how to make sound financial decisions once they start to earn. Children are rarely taught how to seek help in situations where they feel uncomfortable. Nor do they learn to keep boundaries from toxic people and how to say a firm no to protect oneself.
Most of us have grown up never learning how to handle rejection and the aftermath of emotions that bring about self-doubt and self-depreciation. Many will identify with vulnerable times, when one has cried in the bathroom, and come out pretending that they are fine.
When children experience failures despite their best efforts, it is crucial that they learn how to handle such setbacks. Encouraging children that they can reach out for help even when they have made mistakes without immediately reprimanding them in that moment is crucial.
Human connections within the family are replaced with virtual worlds. We know what is going around in the whole world but are unaware of what is going on with members of our own families and households. In the era of social media, false narratives of living a fantastic life in a perfectly curated world with instant gratification and success can make one feel hopeless and helpless.
Perhaps the lack of adaptive life skills is a setback to handling life difficulties, thus contributing to the loss of young lives. This is something to think about if we want to work on saving the lives of our young ones by reducing suicide rates.
(The writer is Associate Professor of Psychology at St Xavier’s College, Mapusa)
