An article “Pink v blue “ are children born with gender preferences” published in The Guardian, writer Polly Curtis described how Hamleys, a popular toy store brand, apparently stopped pink and blue themed signs indicating separate floors for boys and girls after a Twitter campaign accused it of “gender apartheid.” In its revamped version, the shop merely kept signs about the nature of toys available on each floor and left the children (or their parents!) to decide what they preferred to play with.
The Guardian article debated at length whether colour and toy preferences are inherent or influenced by social factors. The article cited divergent research but the basic takeaway was that during infancy, preferences remain similar “ both boys and girls prefer pinkish hues and toys with rounder shapes. Preferences become clear around toddlerhood. This skews the debate in favour of social influences because it is around this time that children begin to communicate with adults and siblings. Increased communication and receptivity to social cues can make a child conscious about subtle gender expectations.
Social influences go a long way in determining the confidence of young adults. Often, ill-informed gender stereotyping leads boys and girls away from what might be a natural choice for them. The pink-and-blue debate is just the tip of the iceberg. Professional roles, hobbies, dressing styles, food preferences, even appetite “ all choices undergo stereotypical gender scrutiny.
An article, “Why do we teach girls that it is cute to be scared?” published on February 20, 2016 in The New York Times discusses an unusual, but highly relevant topic. Caroline Paul, who worked with the San Francisco Fire Department, has written the article with intelligent insight and anecdotes from personal experience. Paul mentions how she was asked over and over if she was not scared being a firefighter. She says “It was strange “ and insulting “ to have my courage doubted. I never heard my male colleagues asked this. Apparently, fear is expected of women.”
Another article, “Where have the tomboys gone?” published in The New York Times in October 2015, discusses the semiotics of the word tomboy in today’s age. Author Marisa Meltzer questions whether the term, which was quite popular two decades back, is rather an old-fashioned euphemism based on the assumption that girls who don’t wear girly clothes are simply going through a phase they will hopefully grow out of. Marisa talks to families with teenage daughters who do not confirm to hobbies, dressing styles or behavioural patterns routinely associated with girls. These girls are not referred to as tomboys, but as gender non-conformists.
The subject choice of both these articles is nuanced. Examples abound. The differences in parenting styles, commands and cautions are often drastically different for girls and boys. While it is perfectly alright for boys to play tough in field games; fall and bruise, parents seldom encourage girls to indulge in such adrenaline-inducing sports. The risks are the same “ pain and bruises. The assumption of the capacity of the gender to deal with these risks is, sadly, different.
Think about it from a very blunt point of view. For a man, a scar acts as a sign of masculinity, a talking point to brag about. For a woman, a scar mars her beauty and reduces her chances of finding a man. Most precautions suggested for girls are directly or indirectly related to keep her face and body beautiful to maintain an upper hand in the marriage market. For example, in the novel, Sister of my Heart, author Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni writes how the two young girls were constantly cautioned to take good care of their skin and keep away from the sun or risk losing out on good grooms.
Then again, most gender expectations, unfortunately, revolve around highly subjective notions of beauty. So, some advertisements will tell you how only men use razors, some will insist that it is only feminine to use hair removal creams, some will insist of special women’s razors. Some companies will insist that the regular use of a particular cream makes one fair “ and capable of getting that dream job. There is wide scale propaganda of stereotypical notions of beauty that is fatal for the confidence and self-esteem of a large number of women who are not fair and slim.
The run up to March 8, which is celebrated as the International Women’s Day, will see a downpour of feminist-themed articles. While gender stereotyping is not as pressing an issue as women’s safety, it is also equally important to nurture the confidence and self-esteem of young women on the right counts. It is important to tell young girls that they are beautiful, irrespective of the shade of their skin or the girth of their bodies.
Giving exaggerated importance to how women should look and expecting them to look beautiful all the time creates a lot of pressure. On the face of it, these issues seem trivial but more and more women are falling prey to market-generated ideas of beauty and are losing their self-esteem. It is difficult to groom strong women overnight, unless of course, the change is brought about by a string of unfortunate and/or unfair challenges. A better way to empower women is by instilling confidence in them from an early age that their feminism isn’t compromised by what they dress or do.
