Bejewelled names for humble dwellings

This country is caught in the throes of re-naming, be it roads, institutes or whole states. But there is nary a word said about the quiet and quaint revolutionising nomenclatures of our housing colonies in our re-named cities. We no longer stay in homes or even houses, we stay in residencies, parks, woods, heights, even avenue and boulevards.

Often times, one ends being a resident of Orchid Bhavan Co-operative Housing Society in Jhumri Telaiya. Both names appear fictional, both names are actual places. I wonder if similarly there would be a Camellia Boulevard Co-operative Housing Society in Timbuktu. I wonder what it would mean to stay in one of such places. Does one get fresh orchids or fresh camellias every day? Or does the fresh flower wilt just as the colour of the building fades? Entire residential areas have gone flowery. Not that, we lacked creativity earlier, we had mogra housing complexes and jaswanti beauty parlours and rajnigandha restaurants. But surely, we are right now out there hunting in the English valley for flowery names.

But, before we jump to the colourful conclusion that we are only on the hunt for the latest spring bloom in the English valley, there is a starry atmosphere around. It does give one quite a starry high to know that Sirius Residency is next door or one resides in Sunny Apartments. All our dreams of staying up in the skies are surely coming true. There are umpteen Galaxy Buildings, each one trying to shine brighter than the other. With such a plethora of celestial bodies amongst us, we do really live in the Milky Way.

Not to be outdone and to showcase every Indian’s love for jewellery, Diamond Housing Complexes, some complete with diamond-shaped grilles for windows were once common place. Better sense has perhaps since prevailed and we have moved on to more classy structures, though the penchant for bejeweled names still continues. Jade Heights or Emerald Towers are named even for those buildings which are no more than 3 stories.

Royalty has a close relation with all of us and though it might appear that we are all proud of being aam aadmis, what we essentially desire is to be a khaas admi. To most, that means living in Royal Residences or Queeny Suites (yes, this name!). Of course, Duke and Duchess Twin Towers are equally aspirational residential addresses. Kohinoor Klassic could be, yes you guessed it right, either a restaurant or a residential complex, but more likely to be a retail cloth store.

One fine day, I am confident of finding Anemone Artery. Those like me who have poor knowledge of flora would be better informed to know that Anemone is a flower, and has nothing do with anemia. Artery, though more famous for being a body part is just another term for a passage. To make the name even more impressive (read difficult to spell and pronounce), you have to have a twist in the usual spelling. A Galaxy will be a Galaxie; a Classic becomes Klassic. All this naming makes me very sure that construction companies have a dedicated Building-Namer, much like a copy-writer, but just more creative and hands-on. Who knows, perhaps there is even an entire department with dedicated processes for christening buildings, a SOP so as to say. I am very convinced that the bigger companies would definitely ensure that this department is ISO certified. Maybe everyone in the department has to sit in a trance or work feverishly on an Excel sheet (which is the same as being in a trance) and conjure up names. This would not be a trivial department. In fact, I think it would be a job with great magnitude. To think of names which are difficult to pronounce, even more difficult to spell and totally unsuited for structures. Because, try as I might, I just cannot think of any other reason for such flowery, bejeweled, celestial, royal names for our humble dwellings.

And unto each house, hangs a tale , that makes it a home

Some modern tales are full of microwave dinners

And every tale (And of this I am really sure) has cured sinners.

A new tale unfolds at every room

Tales of gloom. Tales of doom . But still each tale is a tale of bloom

Some are spinning yarns and sequels galore

Some are only to be hushed, lest they create a furore.

And the actors rotate their parts

You see, these tales have umpteen starts.

Some tales are only of ifs and buts

The ones , that last generations, feature Open Lies ;Hidden Truths.

Many tales never terminate;