Each one of us has our insecurities and a number of them I might add. We feel insecure about various things; like our looks, our possessions, our abilities and inabilities in situations and many others. Sometimes we try to hide these insecurities by shoving them aside and sometimes, even pretending they are not there. We also cover them up to such an extent that most often we are totally unaware of their existence. Our insecurities are just another little part of who we are and working on them could help us really step into our own and be much better versions of ourselves. What we do have to actually learn to accept is, no matter how hard you try, covering them up really doesn’t hide anything from the millions of eyes looking back at us. Sometime or another, what we do try to hide deep down, does eventually rise to the surface and when it does, sadly, those on the outside tend to misconstrue our actions and the repercussions are very difficult for us to deal with.
One way in which we tend to expose those wounds is through the over exaggeration of our own ability. It is this quality that we shall discuss today. A lot of us come across those who inflate everything they do and portray themselves to be irreplaceable, exceptional and yes, better than the rest. What we are talking about here, is definitely not confidence. Confidence is a beautifully positive characteristic to have. The damage comes in when we flaunt a false sense of self.
Isolation is a sad side-effect for this individual. In a social environment, communication is a vital factor to enhance our lives in connection with those around us. When we speak, we need to keep ourselves aware of what we are letting past our lips. The words we speak need a second thought before we unleash them to the unsuspecting public. Besides the impression it creates, we also need to be aware of the damage we are inflicting on ourselves. First, and most importantly, we need to understand that preaching contrary to practice is one of the most obvious mistakes an individual can make, and it is that mistake which is the easiest to catch.
There are times we do not really notice that we are indulging in this behaviour. A clue is in the response you get. When your audience isn’t actively responding but merely shaking their heads, be sure there’s something amiss. Replay in your mind what you are trying to express and decide for yourself, if it sounds conceited. For those in positions of powers, maybe your subordinates will seem to be lapping it all up. Some might even applaud your preaching in front of you. When your back is turned, the fact is, you contribute greatly to the employee joke bank. It is also this group who tend to spill into the habit of taking credit for the building being built under your supervision. Give credit where credit is due. This behaviour breathes a sense of loyalty which is a dying quality in today’s cutthroat world.
When this type of an individual does present itself before us, we each have different reactions to the overwhelming outpouring of self-love. Some of us are strong enough to ignore the individual, many of us on the other hand find it very difficult. As a person on the receiving end of this personality type, a good mechanism to use to help you keep your cool is merely look at it as an insecurity that is being smoothed over. Instead of feeding it, question it politely. For all you know, all that is required is a tiny little reality check. If the person in question is too thick skinned to take a hint, you might want to be clearer with your communication. Again, in the most diplomatic way.
We need to look at this issue as something with a solution. Sure it can conjure up a number of emotional reactions, from irritation, to anger and sometimes even humour. Being in either position can be a problem however, just letting it fester and get worse is not the way to go. Awareness is the first step followed very closely by acceptance. When we do feel like flaunting what we can do we need to first check to see if we can practice what we are preaching. If the practicing and preaching are on par we then need to reflect on if we are preaching our own effort or that of another. Finally, remember, the sound of me myself and I is music to only the ear of the one that produces the sound.
- Charlene Farrell is a counselling psychologist who works extensively with children and adolescents. She also counsels and works with individuals of all ages. Emotional well-being, to her, is of utmost importance to a fruitful existence
