I never thought I would quote Justin Bieber, but I guess there’s a first time for everything. Sorry is one of the most beautiful words in the English dictionary. Even though sometimes a person is hurt deeply, this one little word can actually make things better. It is human tendency to make mistakes and it is also human nature to forgive and thus the world continues spinning on its axis.
When something we do hurts someone, and when we realise the hurt we have caused, we tend to try various things to make amends. Sorry doesn’t always have to be said using those five letters. A sorry can also be expressed through deeds. Some people are of the opinion that there are ‘no sorry(s) and thankyou(s) in friendship’, in my opinion, these words make a good relationship great.
It is part of the human nature to forgive, but what happens when the forgiving human has been hurt in the same way far too often by the same individual? Is a sorry, the world’s best excuse to keep making the same mistakes? Even the word sorry loses its beauty when it is over used and underfelt. Hurting the person you love in the same way over and over again causes you to lose credibility in the eyes of that one person, and if it happens too often, the trust goes down the drain as well. Yes we do understand that making a mistake is human tendency, but no mistake is worth it if a lesson isn’t learnt and the mistake keeps repeating itself. A lot of the time, the individual seeks external validation to justify themselves. Often, that works. Not because your justification is a good one, but because the person on the other side of the problem cares enough to let it go. Everything however has an expiry date and so do the amount of times that apology will actually count.
When an individual experiences being hurt by another there are a number of emotions he/she goes through. There is pain, sadness, anger, sometimes disgust, fear and many such negative emotions. A misunderstanding is stretched into something more negative by the fact that our egos make it difficult for us to accept our mistakes. Each one within the issue feels that the other ought to make the first move. As time passes, neither party relents. In fact it gets more difficult with the passage of time. The reason being, neither remembers clearly what the whole issue was in the first place. In the whole turmoil, it would actually do good to understand that anger disappears within the first two days, after which the main emotions that one goes through are hurt and sadness.
We sometimes go years avoiding certain people in our lives for some very petty issues. We often come across families whose bonds have broken on grounds such as property, family feuds etc. which are purely materialistic and avoidable. Being part of a broken relationship can actually cause a lot of people involved a lot of discomfort. It is not only the two individuals directly involved in the misunderstanding, but also the extensions of their family. Most of the time, when families are at war (So to Speak) it’s the children that are put in the position of the most discomfort. They have to make decisions and get involved in hostilities they have no idea about. They are forced to take sides and stay away from people they are related to by blood. This is extremely unhealthy for any individual, let alone a child. Talking things out and actually coming to workable solutions is thus the most mature and productive thing to do.
Other situations needing resolution arise when certain people find it very difficult do identify that their mistakes are extremely hurtful. They fail to see how their actions affect others. This individual lives in a bubble that tells him/her that all is right in his world and that it is the world at fault. These individuals also tend to attribute their flaws to others and fail to acknowledge the fact that anything they have ever done is actually their fault and no one else’s. They know what they have done is wrong but to them, they were provoked. It is these individuals that make it very difficult to forgive. We have all heard the age old adage ‘forgive and forget’. Yes, it does bring peace but is it that easy to forget? There are plenty of instances where we find ourselves in positions that we could do without. What I believe is, forgive but remember, so that you can protect yourself and well the brain is way stronger than we give it credit for, giving a person multiple chances doesn’t make you weak but in fact shows that you are capable of more care than normal. For those on the other side, think and reflect and reflect some more. Be aware of what you do so that you catch yourself, before it’s too late to say sorry.
