Our children are our future, just like we are the present. Our parents did a pretty good job by teaching us how to behave in certain situations. With each new generation come new complexities, new norms and yes a few new rules as well. We have seen two complete extremes take over the world. One where the child would be beaten black and blue and we have the other extreme where mere correction is a way too big a decision to take. I remember times when I would go home and complain to my parents about a certain teacher. My parents would look at me suspiciously and confidently deduce that it was actually my fault. Today, a child will mention an incident that happened in the presence of a teacher and the teacher is accused of being negligent. A balance is what we need to find. But how and where do we find it?
The relationship between parent and child is not only the cornerstone for every other relationship they have but it is this relationship that actually dictates the kind of citizen he/she will become. Walking down the road during the recent carnival parade and the lessons our children are absorbing became very clear. One such lesson was the disregard of personal space. Parents were shoving their little ones in all directions to ensure that they didn’t miss a fraction of a second of the festivities, no bother at all of the heads and faces being knocked and wounded by the tiny bodies suspended in the air. What lesson do our children learn from this behaviour? ‘I am important and getting into another person’s space to ensure I get what I want is acceptable’. Every moment is a teaching opportunity. Pushing people out of the way to get ahead was another sight that was common place at the carnival. No excuse me, no may I, no gentle taps. Just push and move, and don’t get me started about the garbage. Eat and throw seemed to be the theme this year.
Our children learn the most and the best lessons through observation and who do they think are the best models other than their very own parents and family? A gentle excuse-me or a thank you doesn’t only translate into a happy receiver but what is most important is the lesson you teach the ankle biter by your side. Every time we be respectful we give our children lessons they will never learn within the walls of the best of schools of our country. Another thing we should beware of is the fact that not only do our children learn from our direct behaviour, but are deciphering acceptable and unacceptable behaviour form indirect behaviour too.
The traffic problem is a problem we all seem to be discussing. We think twice before we leave our homes. Do we drive or take a bus? Do we take the four wheeler or the two wheeler? So many decisions just to avoid the traffic, but who is responsible for the problem? Well adjust your rear view mirrors my friends, it isn’t the car ahead of you or the one behind you honking relentlessly. Have you noticed how impatient we all are? Trying to get ahead, cutting each other off and God forbid if we let a car get ahead of us while we stand in the same direction travelling bumper to bumper. The irony is that, we are all travelling in the same direction and that if we all just move when we are supposed to we shall get to our destination much faster than to stay there frown on face and hand on the horn. Our children are watching it all. The impatience, the irritability, the annoyance, the foul mood… they are all learnt, learnt from the ones they look up to.
There are so many things that we can pass on to our children other than a family name and legacy. Out of all what they can inherit, the most important is character. Money can buy anything, but definitely not character. The respect you show, is the respect you teach. The values you hold dear are those you pass on with ease. By keeping in mind a few rules of thumb, we can make our children the richest citizens in the world (And we are definitely not talking monetarily):
Practice what you preach, do what you expect to be done unto you, be polite, use the magic words often and appropriately, match the expectations of your child with their capabilities and refuse the urge to live vicariously through them.
And finally remember… They are always watching. So teach your children well for the character they inherit from you is a lifelong investment that will secure them wherever they may go.
