Friendship is one of the most emotionally enriching experiences an individual can have. Connecting with people on the same wavelength as yourself, having someone beside you in good times and bad, a crutch for support, a shoulder to lean on and a listening ear are a few of the many wondrous and beautiful characteristics a friendship could add to our lives. As has been said, ‘friends are the family you choose’ and the choices we make in friendships do play a vital and elevating essence to our existence. Whether it be for a laugh, a cry or a plain old hang out, friends are the shining stars to a sometimes gloomy day.
When we hear the previous generations reminiscing about the fun times and the wonderful days spent, a common thread we seem to catch is the simplicity of the times and yes the wholehearted friendships. When you really look at it and reflect on their tales, you may chance upon a very striking difference between then and now. Today, we have thousands of friends from across the globe. We are wonderfully connected, but the sad fact is we are all basically lonely spiders roaming aimlessly on this gigantic web where our connections with others are fleeting and very often lack the depth and meaning this strong all withstanding relationship of lore is sad to possess. A disclaimer before we get deeper: this is not a generalisation and what’s to follow is purely observational and not intended to hurt any sentiment or belief. I also do believe that most of us have been able to master the art of developing and maintaining meaningful and strong friendship, but this is just a sort of an eye-opener to things going on around us to which we might at times be oblivious.
This world has turned into a very different place. The landscape, both literal and figurative have evolved tremendously. What we experience today is very different to what we did a few years ago. With it, relationships are also going through a metamorphoses. When I sat to write this, I thought to myself, what’s is the most basic relationship everyone has been a part of at some point in their life or another? Once I zoned in on ‘friendship’, the next question I pondered on, what could be a current problem people face within this relationship? And thus began a week long observation and study.
I observed a number of people including children. It was quite surprising to see that there is a very negative weed growing on the surface of our friendships. Sadly, that weed is ‘competition’ that we have so widely embraced. Earlier competition was for competitors. Now, it’s more like ‘compete with everything and everyone’. Children will try to outdo each other for attention, appreciation and a tonne of other things we can’t even imagine. Where do they learn this regressive behaviour? The sadder fact, we ‘adults’ are constantly showing them how. A few days ago I had a chance meeting with this group of ‘friends’. A big eye opener of a meeting I must add. They all seemed a cohesive group. Talking laughing and having a visibly great time. When backs were turned however, that’s when the claws came out. I’m pretty sure they know what’s going on behind their backs but it seems like more of a, you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours kind of relationship. This has become a very common occurrence today and it is a very sad and disheartening trend.
The result of this new way of life is the inability to trust. We have become suspicious and paranoid. We constantly question a good deed and sometimes for good reasons. The excuses we hear is that this is a ‘dog eat dog world’. Progress seems to be moving in the opposite direction if this is the stand we are now taking. It is high time we re-evaluate the so called development we are going through as the human race. We need to ask ourselves if this kind of behaviour is taking us anywhere. Friends are our solace from the humdrum of life. We need to keep the sanctity of this relationship pure. When we allow backbiting and indulge in smudging the reputations of our friends, we move from normal living to dysfunctional behaviour. Friendship deserves its place in our lives. Let the face of friendship be blemish free.
