Ever wonder how news spreads so fast? A few days ago, Tuesday to be precise, within seconds, India was abuzz with information that our much loved currency notes were being made obsolete. Yes, a lot of truth right there, but at the rate at which information spread, so did fear as a lot of the information being shared over various modes of social media were quite inaccurate. It has been proved time and time again that individuals love to be the first to break any news. What’s an even better fact to pay heed to, is that we also liberally add in our own flavour for that extra special touch. When there is false information being shared, a lot can happen. Causing unwanted panic which could quickly escalate into something completely unrequired is one such outcome.
The word gossip has floated around for ages. We have heard numerous accounts where the term gossip has been associated with women. However, now we are getting smarter and realising that it is more a human problem than a gender issue. The word gossip means ‘casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details which are not confirmed as true’. Sadly, this loose talk has turned into a habit and we feel absolutely no remorse dragging the names of other unsuspecting innocents through the mud. When we talk about someone and ‘unintentionally’ bring them down, what we are doing is crushing that individual’s status for entertainment. The right of expression is a right we struggled to win and this right need definitely not be taken for granted. Expressing views is natural, required and helpful when these views add value or are constructive enough to make things and people better. What we do is directly opposite.
Very often, gossip sessions are spoken of in jest and by the way we talk about it we seem to have accepted it as a norm. Recently, I also heard someone say ‘it’s okay to gossip, everyone needs to vent!’ When we look at the definition of this word we can see clearly that gossip in a negative and definitely not equivalent to venting. It is purely banter that has no strong basis. How then can we ever look at it as a positive requirement? There are several negative effects that can be seen as a direct consequence of indulging in gossip, for example, really bad karma. Always be aware of the fact that what you send out does eventually come back to you and the truth has a funny way of sneaking up on you. The habit causes an indulger to become isolated. No one likes to be associated with someone who constantly speaks ill of others, for at the back of those minds could float an idea of ‘How often am I spoken about in this manner?’ which leads to another consequence ‘Lack of Trust’. It is only natural for people to find it difficult to trust someone who is constantly spreading untruths.
Gossip gives rise to rumours, and rumours could lead to extreme destruction. In December 2015, a father and son duo were beaten to death close to Delhi because of rumours that were spread regarding the contents of food they were consuming. Stampedes are another very common occurrence that spurs from this same source. On the 16th of October this year, at Varanasi, 20 people lost their lives as a result of a rumour that spread about the bridge on which pilgrims were walking was collapsing. This shows that tiny utterances of an untruth can spiral into something catastrophic. These are major consequences in major issues. How different then are the consequences on a smaller scale?
When we carelessly run our mouths about things for which we have little proof, we do need to realise how we can unknowingly cause a whole lot of strife. Very often, gossip and rumours start from a tiny feeling of jealousy that may be so miniscule we may not even realise it exists. Within the duration of the time lapse between one mouth and the next ear, the small untruth automatically metamorphoses into a slightly more colourful untruth, and as the number of ears and mouths it passes through increase, the initial and final statement are so different, that they could easily be two completely different stories.
We are social beings first and foremost. To be able to maintain our respect for ourselves, we need to look at things from the other perspective. Being aware of our utterances and understanding how they will effect another and also keeping in mind how karma tends to boomerang back, let’s ensure that we curb our careless whispers and communicate responsibly.
- Charlene Farrell is a counselling psychologist who works extensively with children and adolescents. She also counsels and works with individuals of all ages.
