Everyone seems to be in search of happiness. Why is it so elusive? What makes it so difficult to find? It could be that we have missed the mark when it comes to our methods of finding it. The horrible part is that as humans we tend to constantly look outward. Searching for happiness now also seems to be tied to the unhappiness of the rest. It is sad but very true, that we are constantly looking to find our happiness in the downfall of another. As cliché as it sounds, the fact is, that our finger is pointing out the faults of others way more often than not.
This is a very common phenomenon in the work place. With the different kinds of personalities that come together to make the work happen, there are bound to be clashes. There are plenty of types of people. Any given workforce can be divided into precise categories. You have the hard workers, the slackers, the proactive lot, those with initiative and drive, the clock watchers, the grumblers, the suck-ups, the back-biters, the big talkers, the small talkers, those who escape doing any form of work, those who pretend they are always busy, those who are always late with deadlines, those who are always early or on time, the jokers, the serious ones and I could go on and on and on but sadly I have a word limit. The point being, with so many varying personalities under one roof, where is there scope for comparison? And if you still want to compare, how do you go about doing it?
Working among the multitudes makes the drama quotient increase on a daily basis. We need to understand that everyone is bound to have their own points of view. The vocal, gregarious lot will put forth their views and sometimes expect the rest to follow. It is not right to expect complete and total acceptance of views when we work with a group of intelligent individuals, the term individual being the emphasis here. When there are outliers (Those who refuse to follow the crowd) the ones on the same page find it difficult to digest. The outcome, the outliers become the target of all and every wagging tongue. The outlier becomes the company spy, the management’s chamcha (To put it colloquially) and other such suspicions are placed on them.
The hard workers also go through their share of wrath. For some reason they are always looked on with suspicion. Besides being looked on with suspicion, they also have to face extremely critical eyes watching for every single misstep. The ones who work hard and do their work well are always looked at as the ones who can be counted on for everything and besides having to power through the pressure of having to do everyone else’s work, they also have to watch their backs, cause theirs are the ones that are constantly being bitten. Every mistake is magnified, every delay is spoken about endlessly. And what does this bring? A sadistic kind of happiness to those who know they can’t match up.
When you search for happiness in the trying to bring another person down, there is absolutely nothing you really achieve other than maybe a few minutes or days of gloating satisfaction. Eventually, however, those with a good head on their shoulders will find a way out of any hole they are dug into. What does that leave you looking likes? Just someone hoping to cover their own major flaws by pointing their finger at someone else.
Finding happiness in your place of work is the easiest thing to do. To achieve this feat, all we need to do is stop looking outwards and look within. A job at the end of the day is a job. By scheming and trying to bring down another there is nothing to be achieved. A job is also an opportunity to learn new things, to become a better version of yourself, to make a mark and to prove yourself, most importantly proving yourself to yourself. That my dear friends is the best path to happiness. Doing what you have to do for yourself first. Making it to the top isn’t easy if you don’t focus on your own path. By looking at where your colleague is going, you may lose focus and find yourself in a ditch. Always remember, if you are trying to find your happiness at work by searching for someone to fail, you are probably not doing enough work and hey it is high time you get yourself a new job.
- Charlene Farrell is a counselling psychologist who works extensively with children and adolescents. She also counsels and works with individuals of all ages. Emotional well-being, to her, is of utmost importance to a fruitful existence
