Space invaders
I have this friend of mine who sometimes gets a little too personal and suffocating. He’s a nice guy but I don’t think of him as a potential boyfriend. However, he does get very personal over chat sometimes and passes comments that sometimes hint at the possibility of him being my boyfriend etc. I try and brush it aside but he doesn’t seem to get the hint. How do I do this without hurting him?
Kim
So Kim, you either have a potential stalker situation or something that will turn into an uncomfortable conversation sometime in the future. The thing is, there’s no escaping this and there’s no real easy way around it. I can’t see the chats, but obviously, so I’ll take your word for it that they’re a bit creepy or invading your personal space. What I would suggest you do though, is get someone who can trust to read the messages and agree with you. Sometimes, what you may think is a little too personal might just be a guy trying desperately to tell you he’s in love with you. All you have to do then is confront him about that and let him down easy, without delving into the details of how you are creeped out. But, in the event that this is a serious situation, something that resembles an awkward obsession, then it’s best you have others around you when you talk to him. By the looks of it, you will have to deal with this sooner rather than later. Hinting at the fact that you do not fancy the lad won’t help. Like I’ve said many times in the past, men don’t get hints. Someone who is obsessed never will. You’ll have to handle this with kid gloves.
Antsy Uncle
My best friend is gay?
I have only a few very close friends, since I’m a very private person. About two weeks ago one of my closest friends came out to me. He says that he’s gay and he took some time to tell me. He still hasn’t told his parents. I’m confused. On one hand I’m upset that he didn’t confide in me earlier, and on the other side I’m not sure how to treat him now. We don’t meet very often since he works and lives in another city in India but we have been friends since school so we talk on WhatsApp often.
S Ferns.
Dear S, when someone decides to come out to his friend as gay, it’s not just a difficult decision but a very difficult conversation, no matter how confident that person is. The very fact that he came out to you first, and not to his parents, means that he needs people to stand by him when he has to break the news to his family. This is where you come in, and perhaps anyone else who knows. The first thing you need to do is let him know he has your support and you need to come through with that support. But why are you confused as to how to treat the boy? He’s been your friend since you were in school and you probably know him as good as he knows himself, apart from the gay part obviously. If you are wondering what it will be like being around someone who is gay and whether he will hit on you, first of all, kick yourself for thinking that. It’s not like a gay man hits on everyone man he knows. Secondly, if he did want to hit on you, he probably would have. He sees you as a friend. Right now, you need to be that friend.
Antsy Uncle
Bag lady
My girlfriend loves handbags and has about 20 of them. She insists I buy her handbags for her birthday and for our anniversaries. She even pics out the gifts. But I think she has many many handbags and also I want to buy her perfume or something instead of bags. Can I do that?
Sanket
Your girlfriend picks out her own gifts? She only tells you to buy her handbags? You are one lucky boy, seriously. I know many men who melt into puddles when they need to buy gifts for their wives or girlfriends. Me included. Go with the flow. I’m sure she’ll let you buy other things for her soon. Oh and, it’s so sweet that you’re asking ME if you can buy her something new. The answer to that is NO. Listen to your girlfriend you fool!
Antsy Uncle
