Yoga guru and entrepreneur Baba Ramdev has made an allegation against the Nobel Prize committee. It’s an allegation that has not only redefined the meaning of ‘black’ but also made all the users of ‘Fair and Lovely’ to sit up and listen.
At one of the many meetings the guru of twist and turn said he had been denied the Nobel Peace Prize because he is black. He told his audience that he would have easily earned the Nobel Prize, but for the colour of this skin. His fans nearly choked on their tongues, while the rest of the world laughed.
Me, I decided to take the guru of contortion seriously. To me, he didn’t look black at all, but then I could be prejudiced against blacks. I called up Oslo and spoke with a person who was willing to talk to me because he was waiting for a bus or whatever these Oslo-kars use to get to work.
“This is outrageous,” I yelled, “the Nobel Prize committee has done a great injustice to Baba Ramdev….”
“Baba who?” the man yelled back. It was obvious he had no clue who Baba Ramdev was, but relaxed after I explained that he was responsible for many people in India and the world attaining nirvana. He was also responsible for some people ending up with torn ligaments, tendonitis and dislocated shoulders.
“This is ridiculous,” the man in Olso said. “We never discriminate on the basis of colour. We gave Bishop Desmond Tutu the prize in 1984.”
“Was he black?” I asked.
“Very,” he replied.
“That must have been a mistake,” I countered.
“No it wasn’t,” the Oslo man who was waiting to catch a bus said, “because in 2009 we gave the prize to Barack Obama, for God knows what, but we gave it to him.”
“Barack Obama is half-white,” I shot back and added, “you would have given Baba Ramdev the prize if he was the president of the United States of America. Your committee has ignored him only because he is an Indian.”
“This is ridiculous,” the Oslo man who was waiting for a bus or a train said. “And what has this Baba Ramdev of yours done to merit the peace prize?”
“He participated in the anti-corruption campaign in India and when the cops came to apprehend him he dressed as a woman and escaped,” I said.
“And you us to give him the peace prize for running around in a woman’s dress?” the Oslo man who was waiting for a bus, said mockingly.
“It’s quite unique in India,” I shot back.
“Sorry man, the peace prize is a prestigious one and cannot be given to any Tom, Dick or Baba,” he lamented.
“Your committee has a deep prejudice against Indians,” I said, “especially black ones.”
“You are wrong,” the Oslo man waiting for a bus said, “we gave Amartya Sen the prize in 1998.”
“But you never gave Gandhi the prize and he deserved it more than anyone else,” I countered.
“Now that was a really huge mistake,” the Oslo man waiting for a bus admitted, “I don’t know why or how it happened, but then he was fighting a psych-war with the British who were friends…… but we also gave Kailash Satyarthi the prize last year…”
“You are wrong there,” I said, “you gave him only half a prize.”
The Oslo man waiting for a bus paused and then said, “Budget cuts, I suppose.”
“You know, Alfred Nobel would have been hurt by what you are doing to Ramdev Baba,” I said.
The Oslo man waiting for a bus thought for a while and answered, “I think Alfred Nobel would have gifted this Baba a box of dynamite and told him to go have a blast.”
