When the younger sibling asks the older one to fetch a glass of water or turn off the lights, the fights that follow can be as serious as they are meaningless. While the older may eventually switch off the lights and the younger may finally get the glass of water, not before several arguments, sibling rivalry is often understood by nobody but the siblings themselves. From arguing over the television remote to fighting over who gets the last piece of food, siblings seem to find something to disagree about even on the most ordinary day.
A BOND BEYOND
It is perhaps this strange contradiction that defines siblings. They can spend an entire day arguing, complain endlessly about each other, and know exactly which buttons to press, only to become the first person to step in when something goes wrong. The person they refuse to share a room with is also the one they may end up sharing their deepest fears with.
And while a fight over who will fetch the water may seem like the most important thing in the world at one moment, the same sibling may not think twice before standing beside their brother or sister when the fight becomes something bigger. This is perhaps what Rakshabandhan reminds us of. While the festival is associated with a sister tying a rakhi around her brother's wrist as a symbol of protection, the relationship it represents is not always as simple. Sometimes, it is the elder sister, and sometimes, it is an elder brother.
SEEKING ANSWERS
Goa has seen this in recent months. In Mapusa, the family of 22-year-old Samuel Braganza has continued to demand answers following his death. Samuel’s sister has spoken publicly about the family’s experience and the questions surrounding the events that preceded his death. “The siblings shared a very close bond and used to do many things together,” shares a close relative. “She (Samuel's sister) and the family are still not over the shock and don't want to comment anything further,” he added, recalling how the siblings shared similar interests too. “They were both into fitness; they used to go to the gym together, bring and eat healthy food, and were close to each other,” he said. While Samuel had been drawn into a public controversy after a video allegedly showing him dumping garbage went viral, his sister has been at the forefront of demanding a fair investigation into her 22-year-old brother's death in Mapusa, Goa.
In Valpoi, too, a brother’s fight for his sibling has reached the High Court. Sofiyan Shaikh petitioned for a Central Bureau of Investigation probe into the death of his brother, Moin Shaikh, alleging that Moin was illegally detained and subjected to custodial torture before his death. Recalling the incident that was to change their life, Sufiyan shares how, despite the whole confrontation, in spite of being captured on CCTV, no action has been taken. “My brother was very sweet and friendly! We always did everything together. He was always very cheerful and polite, and he didn't do anything wrong,” says Sufiyan. The High Court directed that CCTV footage from the Valpoi police station be preserved. “My brother had a bike that he used to ride; I have kept it now as a way of remembering him. Even his football I have kept now. I wish there is quicker action taken, and my brother gets justice soon,” Sufiyan shares.
LOUDEST CHEERLEADERS
Siblings not just stand together through the darkest times, but also make sure to be each other's loudest cheerleaders. While the next case may be different in its circumstances, the relationship at its centre is familiar: a sibling refusing to let a brother or sister’s story be forgotten. Across India, such bonds have taken many forms. The well-known Humans of Bombay recently featured the story of a woman living with HIV who found support in her brother at a time when she was afraid of rejection and stigma. When she confided in him about her illness, he stood by her as she continued treatment, becoming the person she could turn to and always trust when she was unable to tell others.
Perhaps that is what makes sibling relationships so difficult to define. They can fight over the smallest things and understand each other without saying a word. They can tease, irritate, and compete, yet when the world outside the home becomes difficult, the same person who refused to fetch a glass of water may be the one willing to stand beside you through everything else.
In the end, sibling rivalry may fill the childhood home, but siblinghood is often revealed beyond it. When it matters most, the fight is no longer about who will switch off the light. It is about refusing to let that light go out on someone they love.
