Responsive responsibility

When it comes to split second decisions that just have to be made as a matter of life and death, being responsive is key. But when it comes to day to day life, responsiveness could mean a lot more that a quick reaction. One of the most dangerous animals that walk the planet is man. We have heard it all too often. As I was researching for a workshop recently, on the bystander effect to bullying, I stumbled upon an old study that I had been shocked with when I was a student. A study that left a bitter taste in my mouth then and surprisingly enough, left me feeling as noxious this time around. It was the case of Kitty Genovese, who was murdered outside her apartment building in 1964. The story goes like this. Kitty was returning home from work one evening when suddenly she was attacked by a man who stabbed her twice in the back. A neighbour, hearing her screams shouted at the attacker to let her go and in the shock of hearing the neighbour’s voice, the assailant fled. Kitty started crawling to her apartment. The horror doesn’t end here. Ten minutes later, the assailant returned and saw Kitty still there in an almost unconscious state so he went about finishing what he started. He stabbed her to death, robbed her and sexually assaulted her right there in the centre of the neighbourhood she called home. Thirty eight neighbours were aware that a murder was taking place right outside but not one felt it necessary to go to her and do something.

Apathy is the only word for this negligence. Apathy, or the lack of concern is a cancer we are slowly allowing our world to die from. How often do we see this bystander effect taking place? An accident occurs and scores of individuals will stand around watching the drama unfold. Talking about how the accident occurred, blaming everyone in sight and out of sight. While the poor victim has to struggle to their feet and brush themselves off. Yes, in Goa, where accidents are a common sight we do show courtesy and make the necessary calls. Well, some of us do. The rest stand around and wait. In times of emergency, we seldom know what to do and what protocol to follow. Either we panic and dance around like raving lunatics or we stand around with our phones out playing the sudden paparazzi. Do we care that there before us lies someone’s family member? A child, a parent, a spouse, a friend. Does it occur to us that our tiny act of kindness could save a whole lot of pain?

The sheer negligence and unimportance with which we treat human life is disgraceful. Over the last few months there have been scores of stories cropping up the echo this sentiment completely. We have turned too hard hearted, too caught up in our own lives, too worked up about our own paths to be able to stop and give common courtesy to another living creature. We are a far cry from the ideal but we can at least try. Alas, in this cesspool of degradation we have those that stand out, those who will take the first step and make the first move and actually be responsive. Yes, there are a few who will move out of their comfort zone and raise a voice. Research has shown that if one individual makes the first move, the rest will follow. All we need is for that one voice. Why not let it be our own? So much can be saved if we just pluck up the courage to act. All hope isn’t lost. It takes one individual to make a difference. One voice to raise a rebellion. One hand to save a life. One responsibly responsive move to change the world one step at a time.

- Charlene Farrell is a counselling psychologist who works extensively with children and adolescents. She also counsels and works with individuals of all ages. Emotional well-being, to her, is of utmost importance to a fruitful existence