The 21st century definitely came with a bang. We had the Y2K threat to begin it all and as the years have passed, the changes that this world has gone through are shocking. There are parallel lines running to and fro here. One line is moving towards progress and development and the other is a line going in the opposite direction. This line is travelling back to regression and degradation. One line is a tangible delight where every dream and fantasy seems to be turning into a reality. However, there is a backlash we didn’t anticipate. A by-product of so much development was something we never imagined would happen.
Today, as I sit here writing this piece, incidents in the past week flood my mind. Incidents of how we have overlooked a very important reality. How did we get to this point? And where do we go from here?
As a teacher in a high school, I have been blessed with a front row seat to the wonder that is adolescence. A turbulent time it was for a number of us, but somehow we got through. We went through times of complete disobedience, we were naughty and up to all sorts of tricks. And yes, we had those few who just got into trouble because they couldn’t understand what respect meant. Today, the tiny number of disrespecting teens has multiplied alarmingly. Somehow, I think, that as we began to move in the direction of progress, our machines took centre stage and our kids were expected to just bring themselves up. In school, the presence of an authority figure would bring us all to attention. Now, there is absolutely no change in stance. Respect for another human being was supposed to be something we just imbibed. That was a myth. We were actually taught everything we know about respect by our elders. Children learn by watching their elders and that’s how we learnt about respect.
A few days ago, a student got lippy with a few teachers, but on further reflection of his behaviour, I realised that the way he responded was all he knew. It was the only way he was taught. When we set out on a path we have to weigh the various roles we play. Parenthood is not a matter of fact. No amount of hard work is as important as the effort we need to put in as a parent. Parenting needs to be given the importance it is due. It is by far the most important role we will play, if we decide to take it on. Sadly, in India, becoming a parent is not something we take time to think about, there is also very little we do in terms of mental preparation. The fact of the matter is that we actually are preparing the future. We are entrusted with a responsibility but we don’t take it on sincerely enough.
Respect is the cornerstone of all that is great. For there to be great improvements in life, respect for everything and everyone is paramount. When an individual reaches the point where he actually resorts to unimaginable acts of violence as a way of getting back at someone, we know we have already wandered into very dangerous territory. Flip open the newspaper and the reports are plenty. Physically, verbally and through our every behaviour we reflect our core values. Being flippant in the way we address each other is indicative of our own upbringing and that in turn serves as a comparative for our children.
When we seek a good educational institution for our children, we need to understand that we are getting into a partnership and this partnership’s success is measured by the output which is the way our children behave. For one, we can’t expect our children to learn everything at school, two, we need to take responsibility for inculcating the values we want our children to internalise and three, we need to be role models in our own behaviour as they will do to others what they see us doing. We are the first point of reference in their lives. It is our duty to get involved in every aspect. We are constantly allowing them freedom, which is a great thing, but who is laying the boundaries. A river is a free flowing body of water but if you look at it objectively, the river too has a boundary it doesn’t cross. The banks of the river keep it in check. In the same way we need to lay the boundaries between which are children need to remain. The onus lies with us. We need not worry about where we are going if we are absolutely confident about where we currently are.
