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bio: Dr Aldina Braganza e Gomes is a clinical psychologist, psychotherapist and associate professor, HOD, Dept of Psychology, Carmel College
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The canonization of Mother Teresa as a saint of the Roman Catholic Church - St Theresa of Calcutta - has got everybody's attention. Mother Theresa, as she was lovingly known to most, achieved this title for her selfless charity, founding the Missionaries of Charity, an order of nuns dedicated to alleviating the suffering of the poor.
It is a proud moment for Catholics across the world and India. It is also a recognition for so many Indian women (nuns of the Missionaries of Charity) who dedicate their selfless service in this order. There are over 4,500 nuns across the world carrying forward her mission. Mother Theresa’s order runs AIDS hospices, orphanages and charities throughout the world.
Travel to any of her homes across India and the world and one thing that is evident is that she has been able to perpetuate her love through the many nuns that selflessly dedicate themselves for charity. This dedication is not only about renunciation of their own needs but a dedication of care and action to the service of the less fortunate and suffering.
Mother Theresa has been accused for fetishizing the sufferings of the poor while making sure she had access to good care herself. The truth is however when you walk in her shoes or the shoes of the thousands of nuns who dedicate their lives to such a cause you know the meaning of baseless criticism.
While studying in Bombay, I lived a few streets away from the Missionaries of Charity, Byculla and as young students, we would often visit the house and volunteer our time to help the nuns. What one witnesses here is charity in action. I still remember the feeling of disgust I felt when I witnessed suffering and deformity for the first time. But for these nuns, it was always kindness and love that seemed to ooze out of their every pore as they cooed young, dangerously deformed children to eat, drink and bathe. They tended wounds with maggots and fed the old with this same dedication and love.
Being loving and kind without selfish gain is altruism of a different kind of existence.
Is altruism natural or is it supernatural? Do we need to be religious to be altruistic? For mother Theresa, it did not matter what religion you belong to or what caste or nationality you came from, every human who suffers received the same kind of attention. Her message was clear. No matter what religion a person is, or if they don't believe at all, to reach out to suffering especially the poor is a great act of charity that that the human race needs more than ever.
We know that suffering is intensified by solitude and softened by company. Even a small act of kindness can have a tremendous impact on a person's suffering. Acts of kindness have helped people in dire straits to feel hopeful again, believe in themselves and move on. A kind conversation can make people abandon their suicide plans, make life-changing decisions and come out as winners.
Every human being suffers and understands suffering. Every human being also understands kindness and compassion. It is the same reason why when we witness acts of kindness we are moved. Acting with an unselfish regard for others, although natural, doesn't always come naturally. Darwin was the first to suggest that cooperative behaviours has been part of the human evolution as it allowed our ancestors to survive harsh conditions.
Today research studies are showing that sympathy is indeed wired into our brains and bodies and spreads from one person to another through touch. Thus, it is not surprising that when we do reach out we feel fullfilled and energised.
Social psychologists study Altruism which involves the unselfish concern for other people - doing things simply out of a desire to help, not because you feel obligated to out of duty, loyalty, or religious reasons. The question is - if altruism is indeed innate then why do some people help and others don’t?
Although innate, altruism behaviour needs to be given an opportunity to be expressed. This opportunity comes through a process what psychologists refer to as vicarious learning or imitation. For everybody to be altruistic we need our everyday life to be filled with small acts of altruism.
Being altruistic has its own perks. It activates reward centres in the brain. Neurobiologists have found that when engaged in an altruistic act, the pleasure centres of the brain become active.
Society's rules, norms, and expectations influence whether or not people engage in altruistic behaviour. If we want to improve our increasingly polarized, broken, and too often uncivil and corrupt world, then we should place more emphasis on goodness as an important virtue to nurture in ourselves and in others as well. We should attend to goodness behaviour, model it, repeat it, and help people to be motivated to engage in it as well.
Create a culture where goodness is highlighted, reinforced, and encouraged in all aspects of life and for everyone. Mother Teresa is important because she lived her life in such a way as to inspire kindness. Few people do this, and for this reason it is important to hold up her as example for all to follow, Catholic or not.
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