This is an age old saying and thus one of the many burdens that have followed us to the present day. The state we find ourselves in today is thus, avenues have opened up in every nook and cranny of the world. The population that makes up the workforce of every nation big and small outnumbers all other ‘populations’ occupying the area. Life and its constant battles… it’s a wonder any of us get any work done at all. The poor souls who do in fact get the work done are the inspiration for this piece.
A long day of the work of your choosing would in an age gone by amount to a day well spent. Today, the scenario is not very different however, the type of work we do, the methods employed and the remuneration too have transformed. One thing still continues to stand tall and strong. The phenomenon of piggybacking on the effort of another. Society has come together in such a way that the distinction between individual and group have become very blurred. We all do understand strength in numbers, two heads are better than one and problems shared are problems halved. In the psychology of groups, another aspect of group behaviour denotes the phenomenon wherein people exert less effort to achieve a goal when they work in a group than when they work alone. The ecosystems at the workplace are the best place to study such phenomena.
Sure, with more people involved the burden that would persist on one shoulder is dramatically reduced, the issue arises when the number increase but the particular shoulder carries the burden of the group along with the weight of the others. It’s unfortunate that people find it easy to let go of their responsibilities and allow one person to suffer it all and when the time for the credit taking comes, the masses descend to accept the praise and take a bow. The sadness lies in the one who needs to develop the strong shoulders to uplift the masses. Another very negative outcome for the loyal worker is, the pattern that develops. Every situation that follows again seems to gravitate into the realm of responsibility of the stalwart. Thus begins the vicious cycle. The dedicated are then expected to dedicate more than can be humanly possible and he/she turns into an anticipated superhero and one mistake turns into and epic failure beyond the comprehension of the bosses.
Another ‘damned if you do and damned if you don’t’ moment comes when the one who has a penchant to help, helps beyond the point of appreciation. The basic need to help lands the individual in to heaps of problems brought on by their inability to say no. Here the individual has to face the wrath of his/her own good intentions. We see numerous examples in our lives. The Good Samaritan tries his best to help, goes out of his way to probably help the old lady cross the road, only to be shouted at and told off as she had no intentions of getting on the other side in the first place. Today, people actually think twice before they raise their finger to help for this very reason, the fear of being accused of sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong.
When trying to rid yourself of certain avoidable problems, a few simple rules ought to be followed. The first and most difficult of the lot being the ability to say ‘NO’, one of the skills I have tried to master and have abysmally failed. The need to please is one of the most crippling of all. Forgetting about what is important to your survival and ensuring everyone else’s happiness before your own is the biggest blunder you can allow yourself to commit. Being the helping kind, you owe it to yourself and to those around you to count yourself as important. Don’t bite off more than you can chew for the consequence of the action may be worse that saying ‘No’ and hurting the feelings of the person asking in the first place. Stand up for your rights and speak your mind, and don’t allow yourself to be a pushover. Another thought to ponder, your clear conscience is the only voice you need to pay heed to. Lending a helping hand is never ever bad but preserve your energies while at it. Finally, make sure you do what is optimum and strive for the best, you may be damned if you do, but you will regret and feel worse if you don’t.
