So you’ve met up with your pals for a Friday night out. The first mandatory thing to do is take a selfie with the lot. Actually, make that a dozen selfies with your many different poses taken from a dozen different angles. And don’t forget the duck face aka the sexy pout. A tap on your phone and voila it’s live on your social media page for the world to ooh and aah at. Next on the list “ attack the food. Only there’s a slight difference in the interpretation of this literal expression. Rather than happily digging in and relishing the piping hot food, everyone on the table now pretends to be an ace food photographer, and up it goes online, hashtag and all as your friends and followers (hopefully) turn green in envy. Oh and you absolutely mustn’t forget to check in to the restaurant online. Is it somebody’s birthday? A long post stating how much the birthday boy/girl means to you is a must.
Sounds like a familiar routine? That’s because quite a few of us are guilty of doing exactly just that.
Pearl D’Souza usually posts an average of 10 items a day on her wall. Doing so, she discloses makes her happy. “I love sharing what I do wherever I go because it makes me happy and light. I love getting attention and being empathised with,” she says. “I feel happy when I speak out to everyone about myself, my thoughts and wishes. Basically it keeps me wanting to move ahead and achieve more. And I always feel heard and listened to.”
Similarly Flexcia D’Souza also frequently posts on multiple platforms daily. “Facebook and Instagram have just taken over as a scrapbook for me personally. I love clicking photos, scribbling things and saving memories all along and Facebook and Instagram have just become an online visual diary for me now,” she admits. Also, being a blogger, Flexcia’s posts often relate to her experience in areas that she blogs about “ fashion, food and travel.
Errol David on the other hand rarely posts updates online. “Well, that’s because maybe I don’t go out much,” he jokes and then adds. “I don’t believe in posting personal stuff which isn’t important and spamming people with unwanted posts. I post occasionally usually to mark the occasion. Facebook literally is like an open diary which helps to note down what we do in case you want to look back after many years, it could help.”
A lot of what our friends post online is well received by us and we’re quick to press the like (/heart/sad/angry etc etc) button. Indeed, we are so used to these kind of updates now that we are quite immune to the fact that perhaps a lot of this is not always necessary. The irk factor however only begins to set in when people sometimes truly go overboard. Someone is feeling sad. Someone has checked in to home (do you really need to do an online check in for that too?) Someone broke a fingernail. (oh the horror!) Someone is pregnant, hence a picture of the ultrasound. (why?)
At times, these kind of posts are an endless source of amusement. “This girl I know kept posting so much about her holiday trip. Even before she started she was posting about stuff right from the tickets to every little move she made!” says Maneka Rodrigues, laughing. “Nowadays everyone travels and it seems like their trip is useless if they don’t tell people about it. But this girl was the height of it. But I still follow her. She makes my day!”
Other times, it’s just plain annoying. “Another guy used to have an opinion about everything “right from politics or Bollywood to parties happening in Goa and even his beard!” recalls Maneka, adding that she lost her patience with him after a while and unfollowed him.
“ I used to see updates like I just woke up, having breakfast, off to work, having lunch, out with this person, here with this guy etc etc. Literally every single thing done during the day used to be up and I’m pretty sure half the people don’t even care,” says Kaiser Almeida, who chose to leave social media altogether after a point. “First of all I realised that I was pending too much time on it and it got irritating when people kept updating about every single thing they did, surely you have more important things to do. I then decided that I’ll stay on just do that I could keep in touch with friends and family abroad etc,” he says, adding that he chose to delete his account after someone with a fake profile began abusing him. “It’s been five years or maybe even more. But I’ve never missed it.”
Valencia Aguiar too chose to quit social media quite fed up with all the drama. “Everyone is just interested in the latest gossip and what happens in each other’s lives,” she says, adding that you don’t necessarily need social media to keep in touch. “People who actually have to keep in touch with you will.”
“Nowadays there is a lot of oversharing on social media platforms not only by youth but by everyone which is not only dangerous but also annoying,” states Charlene Farrell, psychologist. “A lot of research papers show that depression is at an all-time high because of the amount people share on Facebook. People look at their friends living great lives on Facebook and envy levels go up etc.” Farrell also clarifies that the fault isn’t in the social media platforms. “Staying connected on social media is good, but sharing too much of personal information on it isn’t” she says.
Clifford D’Silva of Goa Institute of Counselling state like nuclear energy is both good and bad in a way, social media too has it’s bad and good points. “If someone were to say that they didn’t have a phone, you would wonder what is wrong with them. Similarly, social media like Facebook etc are right there so why wouldn’t people use it? If everyone else is doing it, there is a pressure to follow suit,” he says. “But at the same time a lot of companies today check out your social media profiles to find out about the real person that you are. Also, social media offers anonymity. So a 60 year old man could be masquerading as a younger person and could fool youngsters. So it is important to keep track of what you post. Similarly it could be great place to help thieves know your location if not careful. Thus it’s not about having these things, it’s about knowing how to use them the right way.”
