Dear parents, you may need the help of your children to really appreciate this one. We often smile and giggle at the fact that our kids get so obsessed with some of the animated movies they watch. But some have a very deep and profound meaning. As you may have guessed, yes, I have also been bitten by the ‘kung-fu Panda’ bug or should I say panda. A line in there that really caught my attention was this line where ‘Po’ the cuddly front man is being told by his master that he will now be the teacher to the other students and ‘Po’ nervously says ‘There’s no way I can ever be like you!’ master Shifu gently replies ‘I’m not trying to turn you into me, I’m trying to turn you into you.’ When we look at things from afar, we all want to turn this line into a reality for our children. In practice however, we tend to act differently.
As citizens of today, we do realise that there are plenty of things our children have to deal with that we didn’t. The technology and thus the dangers it poses, the quick access to things and people, the constraint of space etc. to name a few. Yes, we have to be careful and make sure they are safe. But in being so very vigilant we sometimes forget to let them live and learn. Given the current scenario we tend to get overly anxious when our children experience anything new. We tend to get so scared about every little thing that we forget that in the mad rush to keep them safe we neglect their most basic instincts to explore, to experience, to feel and thus live. The best way for a child to learn is through experience. Here I would like to emphasise that I actually do mean their own experiences and not the ‘when I was your age’ story for experience. I’m not saying let your child run free and party with reptiles, I just mean, let them feel what it’s like to run with the wind in their hair, to enjoy the summers by playing till all their energy has been expelled for the day, let them feel the heat, let them learn to cope with situations that may not be easy, let them just… be.
Now let us revisit the reason behind the title of this piece, ‘Kung-Fu parent’. The original meaning of the term ‘Kung-Fu’ is quite a tale. Kung Fu actually is a Chinese term referring to any study, learning, or practice that requires patience, energy, and time to complete. In its original meaning, kung Fu refers to any discipline or skill achieved through hard work and practice and not necessarily martial arts. The original meaning says a lot about the kind of focus required to achieve something great. Our dream is for our children to have all we had and more. What is common among every parent is the desire to see our children succeed, to see them blossom, spread their wings and eventually sore as high as their wings can take them. Being a kung-Fu parent would entail getting into a focused, Zen state. Being able to identify what it is that would benefit your child is the first place to start.
Every child is unique. The mistake we as parents make is that we fail to really appreciate this fact. We understand it in theory, but when it comes to allowing them to decide certain things for themselves we totally go back on our word. When they are little we constantly watch their steps, as they grow we make every decision for them, we are constantly drowning them in our expectations. Telling them that now is the time to study, then they have to work, then they have to settle down and get married and so on. We feel that they aren’t ready to make decisions that would affect the course of ‘THEIR’ lives. As we raise our children we need to keep in mind that we are raising individuals. Instead of making them like everyone else, we need to identify who they really are and help them become the perfect examples of themselves. The problem lies in the fact that we lived in a different time. A time when opportunities were limited and so were resources. We lived in a time when we were told to do something and we were never encouraged to ask ‘why?’ Well my friends, times have changed. There’s a whole new world ahead of us.
We are amazing beings and thus we have been given the gift of free, logical thought. It is our duty to use these gifts and use them well. The best way to use them is by being the guardians of the generation to come. Bringing up a child is a mammoth task. It takes skill, patience, energy and a whole lot of time. Hard work, practice and persistence makes a good parent great. So put your right foot forward, get your ‘chi’ on and get cracking on being the most amazing Kung-Fu parent.
