JAY JOSHI
Our country and our state are now witnessing hectic activity. The heat is turning up, and everyone around is preparing in their own way for the days that decide the course of our future: Exams. Students across Goa are now diving into their books, flipping through notes, and drawing up strategies to deliver the best possible performance in upcoming examinations. However, it’s not just the students who are franticly preparing for the decisive season. Their support system too is gearing up to face the upcoming challenge: Parents.
While the students leave no stone unturned to study hard and score the best possible marks, their parents too devote themselves to doing everything possible from their side to help the students through testing times. In many cases, it is the parents who go through an emotional roller coaster ride rather than students when it comes to dealing with exams. Why does this happen, and how do parents deal with it?
“My daughter will be answering her class X Board exams next year, and I do have a number of concerns”, says Maya Amonkar from Panaji. “Our education system is such that you are judged everywhere based on your marks. You could be good at something, but you won’t be able to get into a good college unless you have high score. As a middle class person, I feel that my kids will have a good future only if they could get into a good college,” she adds. Amonkar, who has taken a long leave to support her child, feels that parents should mainly play a supportive role during exams, motivating children and making efforts to reduce their stress while also ensuring that they study well. “If my child’s performance drops, I can show her own previous performance. I want her to compete with herself rather than comparing with others. The message here is that you are the same person, and are capable of performing better. You only need to weed out certain distractions.”
The situation brings to mind a well known English adage: you can take the horse to the water, but you cannot make it drink. Parents certainly make a lot of efforts to ensure that they are by their kids’ side when the students have exams, but how does that help?
Mapusa-based Meghna Shetgaonkar also feels that parental support goes a long way in helping kids face the demanding times. “We live in times when there are many distractions, and when parents are around, they can at least remind the students to stick to the study schedule. Secondly, I do not need to be around my child all the time. What’s important is the feeling that ‘somebody is there to support me’ makes a huge difference.”
For Ananya Dharkar (name changed) from Margao, it’s a totally different game. “I have to kids, a girl and a boy. My girl is good at studies, but the boy faced difficulties with mathematics. I would then have to sit with him, teaching and urging him to read. This would build some pressure on him, and I would then have to work to ease the stress on my son” informs Dharkar. She further underlines that it is important for parents to understand the capacity of their kids, and help them accordingly. “I did not feel any stress about how my son would perform, because I understood his strengths and weaknesses, and I did not expect him to cross a certain threshold of marks,” Dharkar avers, “for parents, the stress is sometimes caused when they want their kids to perform beyond their capacity. We have to understand that the kids have their own life, their own strengths and limits.”
There have been instances where parents stay at home to support their kids, but only end up increasing the pressure. However, TG Life found that an increasing number of parents are now becoming aware that this cannot be a way to ensure a bright future for their kids. That said, a loving arm around the shoulder, and a keen eye watching over you does make a lot of difference.
