THE GOAN NETWORK
A cancer diagnosis can change the course of a person’s life, but it does not tell the whole story of who they are. As October is observed as Breast Cancer Awareness Month, the focus often remains on early detection and treatment.
Behind the pink ribbon are experiences of fear, difficult decisions, treatment and recovery. For some, the experience brings a new perspective on health, while for others, the struggle continues in less visible ways. While the journey through cancer can be deeply personal, so is the process of finding one’s way back to everyday life. For survivors, moving forward can also mean wanting to be remembered for their work, interests, relationships, and who they continue to be, rather than being defined by a diagnosis.
FOLLOWING TREATMENT
For Dr Purnima Usgaonkar, Director, Usgaonkars Children’s Hospital, Managing Trustee Coordinator of DILASA and President of the Working Committee at VISAVA, her breast cancer diagnosis in 1999 taught her the importance of following treatment and taking care of her health. Her AR and PR hormone receptors were both positive, which she considers fortunate. “I was very compliant with his treatment and advice,” she says. Based on her experience, her advice to patients is to trust themselves and their doctor. “People should believe in themselves and the doctor who is treating them. Further, if you feel so, there should be no time wasted in consulting a doctor,” she says, urging people not to delay seeking medical help because of fear or stories they hear from others. She also encourages patients to stay positive, return to their daily routines after treatment, and keep looking after their health. “Once treated, forget about it but be vigilant about overall wellbeing,” she says, adding that side effects such as hair loss are temporary and reversible.
LIVING DIFFERENTLY
For Prashanti Talpankar, an artist, writer, translator and breast cancer survivor, the experience taught her to slow down and live in the present. “When I look back at my cancer journey, I feel that it is a blessing in disguise,” she says. Before her diagnosis, she was busy doing too many things without paying enough attention to her health. Although she knew her cancer was in the first stage and that she would survive, the experience made her reconsider her priorities. “I slowed down. I started exercising regularly. I also realised that in many difficult circumstances, you need to look at life with a pinch of salt and humour. And that has changed my life a lot,” she says. She now takes life one day at a time, plans for the future without overthinking and tries to take things as they come.
HURTFUL REACTIONS
Yet, some of the most painful moments of her journey came not from the illness itself, but from how people responded to it. Talpankar recalls being willing to return to work between chemotherapy sessions after her doctors told her she could do so. However, a so-called friend’s reaction left her deeply hurt. “This person said, no, no, no, I heard that you’re going to go out, you’re going to go to your workplace, and people will pity you, and I’ll not be able to bear it,” she recalls. Until then, Talpankar had never considered cancer a stigma or thought people would look at her with pity. The conversation left her worried about how others perceived her during treatment. “But more than cancer, you know, such types of things definitely are hurtful, and they did hurt me a lot,” she says. Support from an NGO that helps cancer patients, and friends, including Dr Sharmila Sardesai, helped her understand that people do not always know how to respond to difficult situations. While she wishes the incident had never happened, she holds no grudge against the person.
BEYOND CANCER
Nine years after her treatment, Talpankar says she is living a life after cancer. While she acknowledges the possibility of recurrence, she hopes people will recognise her for who she is today rather than continually bring her back to her illness. “Sometimes I forget that I had cancer because I do all my activities,” she says. Repeated questions about whether she is really fine can be difficult, particularly at moments when she is simply enjoying herself or grieving the loss of friends to the same illness. She recalls being asked about her health at a funeral, when she was already dealing with her own grief. “I wish people would forget that I have cancer. Remember me as me, no? I’m doing so many activities. Talk about that,” she says.
Usgaonkar, too, cautions against sympathy that makes a person feel defined by their illness, saying, “And no false sympathies to be entertained.” Her advice reflects the importance of allowing survivors to move forward without being constantly reminded of what they have been through.
Their experiences serve as a reminder that recovery is not only about completing treatment, but also about being allowed to move forward without constantly having to explain or reassure others about one’s health. The pink ribbon may mark their journey with cancer, but it should not become the only way they are remembered.
