Dear Antsy Uncle,
I want to buy my boyfriend a shirt for our anniversary and I want him to wear it when we go out that night. But, I’m afraid that the shirt that I chose will be wrong, since he’s very picky about his clothes. Why does he have to be like that? Why can’t he like whatever I buy him?
Angel
Dear Angel
Ah. You have encountered an age old dilemma that has plagued womenkind for ages. Men suffer from it too. Would you wear just about any dress, skirt or blouse that he would gift you? Think about it. What if the one thing he buys you for your anniversary is so far out there that one look at it would make a chill run down your spine? What if you hate flowery clothes and you buys you one with pink lilies plastered all over it? Would you wear it with pride on your next outing to the hottest place in town, or would you want to spill some coffee on it and cry crocodile tears because your ‘favourite’ outfit is now ruined? Does that answer your question? Why don’t you tell him that you want to buy him a shirt and let him choose one himself?
Faithfully yours,
Antsy Uncle
Dear Antsy Uncle
I get very angry when I see bikers riding like maniacs on the road and inviting trouble. I am a biker myself and they are spoiling our name. How do I educate these boys and girls who might cause accidents and kill people in the future?
Narayan, Ponda
Dear Narayan
You could run them over, but then you’ll be the baddest serial killer around and their deaths will play on your conscience for the rest of your life. Why don’t you start one biker at a time? Educate your friend, who you feel is as rash as those you hate. Talk to people in your colony, village, or college, whatever applies. Start a page on facebook. Or even talk to the police and see if there are some programmes that you could participate in, and perhaps even get your friends to come along and help too. I’m sure the police would love all the help they can get. While you’re at it, could you also speak to those fools who ride superbikes without helmets and wear shorts? Those, you have my permission to slap.
Faithfully yours,
Antsy Uncle
Dear Antsy Uncle
I want to remain a virgin until I get married. But I’m afraid that if I tell my current boyfriend that, or any boyfriends in the future, they will leave me. How do I tell them without staying single?
Chickoo
Dear Chickoo
You’re going to want to sit down for this one. First of all, I need to applaud you for making a statement like that, and then also declaring that you will have not just one, but potentially a few boyfriends before you finally get married. All of them will have to be celibate too. I know parents who will give you a standing ovation for what you’ve just though. I’m going to tell you what your father will probably tell you, although he will be beaming with pride and thanking his lucky stars that he doesn’t have to buy a gun or lock you in your room until you’re 30. Any boy who wants to be with you for you, will not bother with anything else. Then again, I could probably be overestimating teenage boys of today. Are you alright with staying single until you meet the man you want to marry? I would also suggest you get a cat.
Faithfully yours,
Antsy Uncle
