THE GOAN
PANAJI
Weddings often involve months of planning, from choosing the venue to arranging the big day. But how much time do couples spend preparing for the marriage itself? With this question in mind, Goa College of Home Science in Campal, Panaji, has introduced a 10-day Marriage Readiness Certificate Course from December 2 to 17 (10 working days) to encourage individuals to think about relationships, expectations and commitment before taking the step. The need for such conversations can also be seen in the matrimonial disputes that reach the courts. During the July 2025 Assembly session, it was revealed that 2,954 divorce cases had been registered in Goa’s civil courts between January 2020 and June 2025, of which 2,237 were still pending. While these figures do not indicate how many marriages have legally ended, they offer a glimpse of some of the challenges couples face.
Preparing for marriage
“One prepares so much for a wedding. Marriages too require so much more preparation,” said Mahesh Pai, Principal of Goa College of Home Science. The course, he said, is a socially beneficial initiative receiving financial support from the Directorate of Higher Education, which has a scheme to assist government-aided colleges in conducting short-term courses, workshops and other academic programmes. Pai clarified that it is not a marriage counselling programme meant only for couples about to get married. It is open to anyone interested, including unmarried and married individuals. “In India especially, we are more culturally inclined to the marriage is not only marriage within individuals but also marriage in families,” he said, pointing to the role families play in a relationship.
The idea also grew out of feedback from former students. Dr Nadisha Coelho, Assistant Professor and Department In-charge of the Department of Human Development and Family Studies, who is organising the course, said students and alumni had spoken about how the subject of Marriage and Family Dynamics had helped them in their personal lives. The subject, though, was no longer available to students who chose other specialisations. “The ones who did learn it kept telling us how they wish all their friends would get to learn this too,” she said.
The certificate course will explore self-awareness, dating, mate selection, maturity, intimacy, love and conflict resolution through discussions, practical exercises and experiences shared by resource persons. While students and young adults are its primary audience, others interested in understanding relationships can also enroll. The aim is to help participants reflect on their values, expectations and past experiences before making important life choices. “We spend over two decades preparing for a career that most of us retire from at the age of 60, but hardly any time preparing for a potentially lifelong relationship,” Coelho said.
Digital challenges
Relationships today also face challenges shaped by technology and social media. Chrissie Gomes, Clinical Psychologist (RCI Accredited) and Coordinator of the Department of Psychology at COOJ Mental Health Foundation, said excessive screen time, comparisons with relationships seen online and differing views on infidelity can lead to disagreements between partners. “There is a lot of sliding into DMs,” she said, explaining that even casual online exchanges can become a source of conflict when one partner considers them emotional cheating while the other does not. Such differences make it important for couples to discuss boundaries and expectations. “Such courses will definitely help with starting the conversation,” she acknowledged.
Premarital preparation
For Fr Albano Fernandes, Director of the Diocesan Family Service Centre, Goa, another concern is whether couples take premarital preparation seriously. The Centre conducts premarital courses for those getting married in the Archdiocese of Goa. He said some attend only to fulfill the requirement, without engaging with the discussions. Anger, ego, poor communication and interference from family members are among the issues that can affect relationships. In some cases, counselling has helped couples recognise big differences before proceeding with marriage. “The decision is theirs later, whatever they wish to do with that,” he said, stressing that the value of these sessions lies in applying what is discussed.
Everyday adjustments
Once couples begin living together, everyday adjustments bring their own challenges. Psychologist Shobhika Jaju, founder of Silver Linings: Guidance & Counselling Centre, Margao, said adjusting to each other's families, managing finances and adapting to different habits and routines are common concerns in her practice. “Family-related adjustments and financial concerns are two of the most common issues I see in my practice,” she said. Jaju believes that understanding these responsibilities beforehand can help young people approach marriage with more realistic expectations. She also encouraged couples to address their concerns rather than ignore them, “It is better to seek professional help at the beginning of a stressful time rather than allow resentment to build.”
The course is intended to encourage reflection and discussion, not to train participants as counsellors or replace professional support. Those facing specific relationship or mental health concerns should seek help from qualified professionals. Its larger purpose is to help people understand themselves and the expectations they bring into a relationship. As Pai emphasised, “People need to understand themselves first, and only then can they understand the other person.” Preparing for marriage begins with this understanding, even if it cannot prevent every disagreement.
