THE GOAN
PANAJI
The deaths of two elderly sisters in Canacona have left Goa shaken. The incident has once again brought attention to the realities of growing old and living alone.
Quiet reality
As reported by The Goan, a foul smell from their home in Mokhard led to the discovery of the sisters, aged 70 and 73, on Sunday night. They were found in an advanced stage of decomposition, with a purported suicide note and money kept aside for their last rites also found at the house. The circumstances surrounding their deaths remain under investigation. Behind this blaring headline is a quieter reality many older people face: long periods of solitude, health concerns and the difficulty of adjusting to a life that may no longer look the way it once did. For some, even everyday tasks can become difficult without someone to turn to.
Ageing challenges
Ageing comes with its own set of challenges. While illnesses, physical limitations, disability and restricted mobility become more common over the years, the emotional and psychological needs of the elderly can often be overlooked. Rohini Gonsalves, Founder and Managing Director of Sevarat Healthcare and Nursing Pvt Ltd, points out that loneliness becomes particularly difficult after losing a spouse. “They are left with a void in their lives. Research shows that spouses have four times the risk of feeling abandoned and lonely after the demise of their partners,” she explains. Bereavement, she adds, can push vulnerable elders towards depression as they lack effective coping strategies.
For those already living alone, that isolation can be even harder. Joseph Pereira, founder of Suneethis caregivers, says losing a spouse or being separated from children can leave the elderly struggling to find a reason to carry on with everyday life. “Your friends are either busy or have their own lives. Depression does get you badly,” he says, pointing to loneliness as a major concern. This is why Gonsalves believes preventing such situations cannot rest with one person or institution. Individuals, families, communities and the government all have a role to play. She stresses the importance of maintaining relationships with extended family, neighbours, acquaintances and even regular service providers. Families can make it a point to visit or call elderly relatives, while neighbourhoods could have volunteers regularly check on senior citizens living alone.
Community connection
Pereira says Goa has gradually lost that community connection. Recalling an earlier time when villages were more closely connected, he says, “Earlier we had village clubs, cultural activities, we saw the entire community coming together, and now that has been lost.” He believes activities that bring elderly people together can help rebuild some of that connection. “Isolation is what we should avoid,” he stresses.
Gonsalves believes that if one is determined to help, then nothing can get in the way. “In most cases, the biggest hurdle for service providers like Sevarat is the lack of familiarity with the person. It takes time to break through the initial reluctance to reveal what is truly going on in their lives,” she notes. Often, elders themselves seldom agree to have someone help them. “In fact, they actively stop service providers from intruding in their lives unless the family has taken adequate effort to convince them about how imperative it truly is,” she remarks.
Financial strain
Finances can add another layer to these difficulties. Pereira points out that while care and support may be available, accessing them becomes harder when an elderly person has limited financial resources.
Pereira recalls an incident involving an elderly client whose two children, a son and daughter, were both living abroad and had differences between them. With neither able to be consistently present, the elderly father was left struggling with basic needs at home. From a non-functioning fan and an expired TV subscription to difficulties with groceries and even a dog with ticks spreading through the house, “It was a bad situation,” he recalls. For Pereira, the incident is also a reminder to families that differences between siblings should not come in the way of caring for ageing parents. “Do not let your differences impact your duty to your parents,” he says, urging children to do their bit to the best of their capabilities.
Growing numbers
India has around 149 million people aged 60 and above, 10.5% of the population, a figure projected to reach 347 million by 2050. The 80-plus population is also expected to grow by nearly 279% between 2022 and 2050. Gonsalves says, “These statistics show why eldercare cannot be an afterthought. We need dignified, proactive care for our ageing population.”
Ultimately, caring for the elderly may not always require grand gestures. Sometimes, it can begin with a phone call, a visit, or simply noticing when someone who was once surrounded by people has begun spending most of their days alone. As Goa's elderly population grows, ensuring that growing old does not also mean growing invisible will require families, communities, and institutions to pay attention before this quiet struggle becomes a crisis.
