I want to lose weight but I don’t want to lose weight. Help me.
Somebody
Hi Somebody. Just this morning Arun Jaitley made a statement that went thus, “Yes, loans have been waived but that doesn’t mean loans have been waived.” I had the same expression then, on hearing his statement, that I now have on reading your short and extremely confusing statement. Imagine, my eyes bulging out of my sockets, not because I’ve seen Jessica Rabbit but because I’m probably having some sort of seizure. My mouth is frozen in a half pout and half “what is this person thinking?” pose. Half the pout was because I was in the midst of doing a duckface selfie when I read your mail. I have no idea what to tell you to do. Oh wait. I have it. EUREKA, I HAVE IT. This is genius. I bet when you read it, you’re gonna say, “Uncle, you are a genius. May your tribe increase and may all your dreams come true.” Why don’t you join a gym? No wait. Hear me out. Join a gym and workout every morning. Then go home and have a nice bacon, eggs, baked beans and toast breakfast, followed by a massive serving of rice and curry for lunch, and then for dinner, stock up on carbs and the likes. This way you’ll lose weight and put it on by the end of the day. Another problem solved. Soon they’ll be calling me Super Antsy Uncle! My superpower is helping people in need by giving them fabulous advice (but obviously!), my weakness is mutton biryani.
Antsy Uncle
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Why do so many people on social people troll people? Some purposely hang out on facebook just to push their agenda and call people names. I’m sick of labels like aaptard, bhakt, libtard and so many others. Can we start a movement to educate these people?
James
You’re absolutely right James. Back when I was young, we had stupid nicknames too, most I’d not care to repeat here, but atleast we didn’t have social media. I’ve been witness to a lot of shaming happening on facebook and twitter. There are some people who have reduced these nice networking tools to a platform of hate and anger, but we cannot let these people win. However, a movement to educate people? We actually have some things like that. They are called schools and colleges, oh and parental guidance. Most of us have inherent leanings because of our parents and grandparents, or even close friends. We have to learn to respect each other’s choices, but that has to come from those who influence us. There are very few people who have seen and witnessed hatred for a community or a person coming from parents etc and have managed to shake that off later in life. Most continue it and pass it on to their kids. So, bottomline, while we cannot throw our hands up and claim helplessness, there’s only so much we can do to ‘educate’ trolls and haters. What we can do is not respond to them. Most of them cherish a good fight and to see someone upset. Just walk away. It’s not cowardice, it’s actually common sense.
Antsy Uncle
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How do I tell if a male colleague is flirting with me? By the way, I’m male too.
RR
Well, did your colleague run his hands through his hair, swish it around or…. Alright, hold up. I have absolutely no experience with male’s flirting with me, so I’m just going to go with either “Ask him” or just keep it cool until you actually get asked something directly.
Antsy Uncle
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IFFI has inspired me to write and direct a film. I have a great idea but I need to find a camera and learn a little bit about film making. Any advice for me?
Miriam F
Well, Miriam, it’s not that difficult, but it’s not that easy either. I’ve never made a film but I’ve seen about 2000 of them so I can fairly state that I do know a little bit about films. You need a good script or an idea that can be turned into one. Approach someone who knows a lot about films, someone you can trust, who will tell you whether it’s worthy enough to be made yet or whether it needs more work. Then figure out whether you want to make this yourself or get someone to make it with/for you. Or just take a handycam and make one of those Blair Witch Project styled films.
Antsy Uncle.
