Life is obscure and no matter what we do and how strictly we try to control it, life has its own tune. A dance with time. Remove time and we are vacant.
Mitch Albom in his novel The Time Keeper narrates this strange relationship Man has with Time. Man alone measure time he asserts. Man alone chimes the hour. And because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures. A fear of time running out.’
We measure time. Grapple with its speed. Trying hard to master the way it eludes us. We measure time in units of minutes, hours, days, weeks, years, decades and centuries. We speak of BC and AD. Time gives us perspective. Like today we are more evident of the fact that time is running out. The year shall end in three days and we shall move fast forward into the New Year.
That’s why New Year resolutions are so popular. New year resolutions give us an opportunity to pause time for a moment, move back, seek out ways to keep constancy in our lives.
New Year resolutions are hopeful and in many ways therapeutic. To pause, seek out that which we want to change, look for opportunities of self-growth and become hopeful.
The ability to retreat back, to let go of all that is negative and hope for a better tomorrow. But while doing all that you want to do, it is important to ask ourselves who is the keeper of our time.
Does time become our control and do we enjoy who we are?
My age hinders my comprehension of all of the wisdom of our ancestors, and I keep going back marveling at their perceptions of life and living.
Our ancestors lived in harmony with their surroundings. Their ways included their love for animals, they respected their eco system so much so to include them in their rituals and most importantly they incorporated time in their routine to show reverence to each other and themselves. The essence of time was not marked in their schedule where humanness was forgotten. Time moved hand in hand with nature.
Development and progress is good and yet true progress requires sustainability.
I think we have to ask ourselves an important question:
What are we leaving behind for our next generations?
Will the children of this planet be grateful to what they inherit?
Who is our time keeper? Do time tables precede humanity?
I deal with youth in my profession and my experiences with them tells me that we have a generation of kids where as their time keeper we forget to teach them the use of time to remain still, cherish life, be grateful, to connect and be happy with themselves.
Our focus has always been time management rather than life management.
It’s common to see how our timetables and our New Year resolutions does not include skills to connect with each other, to do the things that make us happy or teach us to cope with stress. As their time keepers we prioritize material values over human values.
Most of the time our dreams of having perfect kids overshadow their desires of what they want from life. We forget to teach them about living. Our kids are using their time to grow up in a world that is unrealistic and when they have to deal with reality they cannot and don’t know how to cope.
Yes, year ending is a time for reflection. A time to pause. While we list out our new year resolutions we need to ask ourselves: What is it that stops me from becoming my best possible self. Can we fast forward into the New Year with just hope and no thoughts?
We carry with us centuries of cultural conflicts. Generations of hurt, anger and prejudiced systems. Without addressing these conflicts we cannot make progress either as an individual or as society. To make true progress and to truly develop we have learn to accept our diversity.
Discrimination on the basis of caste, religion and gender are the demons that we have to face.
They are so ingrained in our system and our beings that often we are not aware of the wounds we create.
Unless we appreciate all that unites us rather than find differences to what divides us.
Unless we look at our strengths rather than our weakness,
Unless we learn to appreciate and respect at what we have in common rather than find fault in our differences.
Unless we begin to realize that our controls are unreal and no matter how hard we try build boundaries that life has its own plan. Unless we realize that our sole purpose in life is to love and be loved. That in this great rat race, time is an illusion and as keepers of time, unless we can learn to overpower how time flies and love the moment. Only then will we be able to shed all that hampers us from becoming truly free and happy. Only then will time truly be ours.
Dr Aldina Braganza e Gomes is a clinical psychologist, psychotherapist and associate professor, HOD, Dept of Psychology Carmel College
