FR LODDY PIRES
PANAJI
On June 5, 1841, Msgr Fransoni ordained a priest, the 26-year-old Fr John Bosco, later popularly called Don Bosco. He was a young priest of goodwill, still searching for his way in the world.
Don Bosco was intelligent and burnt the midnight oil for studies. Poverty was his constant companion. His day was spent working. He learnt many trades to spare his mother the tuition fee.
Don Bosco loved the boys in their situation of misery. As a fatherless child (his father, Francis, died when he was 2 years old), Don Bosco realised he had a calling to care for the neglected boys. At the age of nine, in a dream, he saw himself in a field, surrounded by children who were yelling and fighting. He tried to calm them, first by persuasion, then by force. “Don’t use violence,” said a mysterious person. “Be gentle if you want to win their friendship.” The children who had momentarily changed into wild animals now appeared to become submissive lambs. Then a woman instructed John to “lead them out to pasture.” This dream set the course of his life and the pattern of gentleness: his style of parenting.
Don Bosco was horrified by the misery of the city and the suburbs. If he tried to approach the boys, they would run away, although, in reality, these were eyes of fear rather than ferocity. He had to earn their confidence with infinite patience and goodness.
Don Bosco was a father to homeless boys. He found many young men without families or homes; many worked on construction projects. He gathered boys on Sundays for games, entertainment, prayer and religious instructions. He began housing boys by providing them with the care and safety of a family.
Relying on God to provide resources, built schools, workshops and boarding houses where the boys learned trades. He gave his “sons” their basic necessities and above all, a father’s love. He invited his mother, Mamma Margaret, to be a mother to the boys.
Don Bosco won the confidence of the boys just by being with them. He played with them, talked and listened to them. Some parents have tried with some success to show the “Don Bosco style” love to their children. They gather sometimes for family togetherness - play, watch a movie or go out for a meal.
Don Bosco encouraged personal responsibility, applauding their efforts to improve. He advised teachers to regard the boys as their own sons.
He would say, “In correcting children, lay aside anger - no hostility in your minds, no contempt in your eyes, no insult on your lips. Use mercy for the present and have hope for the future.”
Living in a Christian culture, Don Bosco instructed them in the faith. He trained them in service. During a cholera epidemic, he sent out teams to care for the sick. Later, he helped them to choose a trade or professional careers.
What was the key to his “system” of child-rearing? Parents face challenges with their kids. Don Bosco’s “system” was to pray and then act, counting on the Lord to direct his efforts. Ask God’s help to resolve a “sticky” situation. Then go about your day doing what seems best, trusting in God.
Don Bosco’s system had another strength, one that energized every aspect of his fatherhood.
“I have promised God, that until my last breath, I shall have lived for my poor young people. I study for you, I work for you, I am also ready to give my life for you. Take note that whatever I am, I have been so entirely for you, day and night, morning and evening, at every moment,” Don Bosco said.
Parents who want to raise their children for God “Don Bosco style” will embrace their responsibility, with his brand of “total dedication”. He is a model for parents who are the ‘educators par excellence’.
[The writer is a Salesian of Don Bosco and presently the Director of the Don Bosco’s Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, Panaji]
