As I sat one day thinking, I contemplated life’s journey. And in that rare moment, almost like an epiphany, I knew what I wanted to do with myself. I felt a sense of excitement course through me. The realisation of what it is I wanted dawned and suddenly I knew. I wanted to become, a cow.
You might wonder why I had such a fantastic and riveting insight, well I think it’s because safety to me is very important and who is the safest in this country? Yes, a cow. You so much as look at a cow with an intent to eat it, in some states, and you risk imprisonment and even death. In those very same states, women apparently are not really important. I mean with everyone protecting the cow, who has time for the women, right?
We live in a country where the crimes against women are multiple. Dowry deaths, honour killings, witch-craft related murders, female infanticide, female foeticide, marital rape, gang rape, date rape, domestic violence, forced marriage, child marriage, acid throwing and abduction! And no I’m not narrating a Bollywood movie plot. The sad truth is that this is reality. Our reality. We are supposed to be a progressive society but sadly there is another ‘p’ that dominates - patriarchal. A few weeks ago we were stunned by the gruesome, blatant murder of a young girl in broad daylight by her stalker. We’ll get to the stalker in a bit but what really got me fuming first was the way our society spoke about the victim and her character. We heard that she was ‘loose’, she asked for it; she spoke to too many boys. I mean, come on. How blindly chauvinistic is this country? A woman who explores her sexuality is considered characterless, a man, macho! The clear double standard is outrageous.
Our judicial system is a joke when it comes to women’s safety, this week itself, a woman who was raped and who got so called ‘justice’ was put through the same horrifying ordeal all over again, by the same men who were let out after they served their time? Is this the kind of justice we deserve? Individuals are getting off on minor irregularities. Rape is not an accident but a deliberate act to harm. A hate crime. We want to be humane but our system needs to understand that humanity is for humans and not for barbaric, vicious animals. Another case where our judiciary failed us abysmally was when a three year old was raped. The rapist got bail and within a few days he raped another child. Why do we remain quiet? How many more Nirbhayas have to lose their fight before we wake up? Should the innocent continue on this long winding road that never ends?
But sadly, this patriarchal society was built by the unsuspecting crutch. There is a very famous saying ‘the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world’. Did that same hand create the monsters roaming in our midst? Most likely. When a mother craves a son and rejoices at his birth, when she gives him a better education as opposed to her daughter, when she gives him the healthier food and when she forgives his every fault as a mistake, she allows the monster to rule the show. When she tells her son that he is a god walking the earth and that he can get whatever he wants, she encourages him to go out there and prey on the unsuspecting woman.
Education! Education that is our duty to ourselves. Mentality changes and meticulous planning to do away with this horrifying reality is the call of the hour. Are you going to stand up for your rights and for the rights of every woman in your life? Or are you going to sit back and just nod your head in shame? Life is what we make of it. Making it better for the generations to come and our own is a power we hold in our own hands. As Nora Ephron said “Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”
- Charlene Farrell is a counselling psychologist who works extensively with children and adolescents. She also counsels and works with individuals of all ages. Emotional well-being, to her, is of utmost importance to a fruitful existence
