Sometime in the future, this might actually happen…. if the present is any indication.
In an office in the University an old man is seated in a wheel chair with an IV drip connected to his right arm. He sifts through a file which looks as old as him, if not older. The old man is assisted by a younger man who has been his faithful aide for over a year or so.
The old man picks up a sheet of paper and studies it. “Do you know why I am still here?” he asks the assistant. “I am still here because the government wanted an older person for the job. Don’t you want to know why? I’ll spell it out for you. With old age comes wisdom ….. (frowns) …. and short term memory loss. Do you understand Raghu?”
“I am not Raghu,” says the assistant. “Raghu retired three years ago.”
“That’s strange,” replies the old man, “nobody really retires in the university. We just get extensions.”
“That privilege, sir is reserved for only the top brass, not assistants and drivers,” the assistant retorts.
“That’s too bad,” replies the old man. He picks up another sheet of paper and reads it carefully. “You must be Cyril, then?”
“No sir,” asserts the assistant, “Cyril died three years ago.”
“Was it an accident?” asks the old man, “because this state is notorious for accidents and diabetes. Both are killers.”
The assistant shakes his head in a manner that exuded helplessness. “He died of old age.”
“Old age! That’s a killer too,” asserts the old man and then adds, “I have been around too long. You know, one extension led to another and another and another and…. I’ve lost count.”
“The government needs you, I suppose,” says the assistant.
“I don’t want to be here, but then, without me, this university would fall apart,” exclaims the old man. “There is so much to do and so little time to do it.”
“And you have managed to keep it together,” says the assistant with a tinge of sarcasm which is lost on the old man.
“Do you know what really keeps this university up and ticking?” asks the old man with a knowing look. “A stead supply of tea and coffee. Without these elixirs, the university would just be a dry, insipid place of learning.”
“I always thought the only thing that held this university together was the University Act,” the assistant says a little more forcefully.
The old man laughs heartily. “The Act? Seriously? Acts are for actors …. do you know that Shakespeare’s Hamlet had five Acts?”
“And he dies in the end,” adds the assistant.
“Really?” replies the old man, “somebody ought to promulgate an ordinance to amend that Act."
“What about the physics, English, chemistry, political science ….. and other departments? Do they not count for anything?” asks the assistant in a tone that oozes of frustration.
The old man looks surprised. “When did they start all those departments?” he asks.
“About 30 years ago,” replies the assistant.
“Somebody should have told me,” the old man says with irritation.
Their conversation is disturbed by the entry of the canteen boy. “I brought your coffee, sir.”
“Good,” replies the old man, “just put it in my IV drip. It tastes better that way.”
An hour later the assistant wheels the old man out of his office. “I have been here for quite a while, you know,” he says, “I am actually older than the Governor.
“If you are lucky they might make you governor one day,” says the assistant in jest.
“Now that would look nice on my CV,” says the old man.
