‘Propah’ English
My issue is a little weird. But then so are you. So, here goes. Since my childhood, I have been taught to spell and pronounce everything correctly. As a result, I now face a dilemma when it comes to entering commercial establishments, buying brands or even shopping online if the name of the website is not spelt in the Queen's English. Flipkart, Healthkart... I just can't get myself to log on to these. Even when there is a bumper sale. Why can't they all just use the correct spelling and rename the portals to 'Flipcart' and 'Healthcart'?
Spelling bee
So you have a problem with bad grammar and bad English, the ‘Queen’s English’ I may add. This, coming from someone who starts a sentence with the word ‘but’! By now, you must realise that English has been changing for a while. There was a time when I couldn’t stand sms language. I still don’t. Actually I am pretty sure someone back in the day (and by back in the day I mean a time where people rode horses to work, or walked) took offense to ‘don’t, instead of ‘do not’. They probably didn’t have an intelligent and wise Antsy Uncle like me, the loveable weirdo that I am, to guide them through life. But you do. My advice: Move on. Think of it this way, all these karts, they are brand names. You have a bit of poetic license when it comes to changing things around with the spelling. So, you can dwell in this sepia-toned notion of how things should be. In fact, if you continue to do so, I would suggest buying a large piece of land and establishing a village within that continues to live and exist as one would have in the 1980s or 1990s. No mobile phones, no television, and yes, propah English. Do remember however, that one day a blind girl and a slightly psycho man will wreak havoc with your lives…. wait, this just turned into a Manoj Night Shyamalan movie. Darn it! Oh and, thank you for the ‘you’re a little weird’ comment. It made my day. Fool!
Antsy Uncle
No strings attached
Why do we have so much hair? Some of us men have hair on our heads, beards, hair on our hands and legs. The only difference between us and some animals like bears, is that we are more civilized. How does one manage so much hair?
Steve.
I knew a guy who hardly had any hair, apart from on his head. He would shave once in a month. He didn’t have to worry about sweating a lot, he didn’t need to buy too much product either. I hated him. One day, an entire group of friends, couples and all, decided to go to Manali for a holiday. He turned blue. Turns out, less hair or no hair doesn’t always help. I laughed all through the holiday, until I returned to Goa and felt the heat. I hate him. Moral of the story: Don’t remind me about my Manali trip or that hairless friend of mine.
Antsy Uncle
Looking up at life
I’m a little short. But I have come to terms with it. It’s not the best place to be, when you’re in a crowded bus, but I have come to terms with that too. I want to create products for people who are short. What advice would you have for someone like me?
Small wonder
Stilts. Now that would be an ideal product to work on. Stilts of different sizes, so that you can get as tall as you want to be. This product could take you to great heights, you could stand far above the rest of the world and they would look up to you. The view will be glorious, pretty much like the view taller people have when they look down and see your face. As for crowded spaces, I once worked in Mumbai and travelled by the early morning trains to work. Now that would be a place you may not want to get stuck in. The air down there is rank. People do not use deo and there is a lot of gas involved. By now some of the readers are gagging, so I’ll refrain from going any deeper into this conversation. I hope you get the picture. That’s the long and short of it, really!
Antsy Uncle
