Lonely gal
No one in my office wants to go out for lunch with me anymore. I don’t know why. I chew with my mouth closed, I don’t ask stupid questions, I order nice food and even share my fries. But still, everyone is busy when I want to eat food outside, on those days that I don’t bring a tiffin. Why is everyone so mean?
Krisla, Panaji
Dear Krisla,
The world is mean. Get over it. If you think you don’t have it easy, think of those little boys and girls in Syria who nobody wants to have lunch with because they don’t really have any food to eat. You don’t seem like a loner. However, I’m a bit ambiguous on the ‘stupid question’ part. How does one define a stupid question? Perhaps, what’s not stupid for you may be stupid for someone else and extremely idiotic for others. For all you know, there are some out there who probably find this answer stupid. Take a look at Salman Khan for instance. He makes stupid statements but his fans don’t find it stupid. In fact, they attack anyone who says anything against Salman. The other day on twitter I faced a barrage of abuse by tweeting about his latest ‘stupid’ statement. Maybe, you need to get everyone together and plan a lunch out in advance. Go up to your colleagues and suggest going out the next day or the day after. Don’t plan potlucks in the office though. They never work. I have a few colleagues who keep on planning them and nothing every works out. I never get my free food. Now that’s stupid of me.
Antsy Uncle
Surfer dude
When I get bored, I surf through Facebook at work. When I’m home I keep on scrolling through to find something that interests me. I stare at my phone hoping that someone messages me or calls me. Is there something wrong with me?
Anxious and waiting
Dear Waiting,
I take it that you’re single. That’s alright, not everyone gets lucky. You need to learn to live with it. Yes, there is something wrong with you. Why are you staring at your phone when you could be out meeting friends or trying to flirt with someone you like? Life is too short. The other day I met a friend who was a very active man, he was always riding his bikes or hang gliding, bungee jumping etc. He goes trekking here in Goa and even went to basecamp at Mount Everest. One needs to be like him. God rest his soul. He passed in a bike accident last week, but don’t let that bother you really. Put your phone down and experience life. Stop and smell the roses, or, since you’re in Goa, that strange salty sewage smell that wafts up when the roads get flooded. See beauty in everything, even a plastic bag, which you’ll find by the dozens in the Campal garbage dump. What you could also do is work for Salman as his PR agent. He desperately needs someone who can tell him what not to do. Just don’t volunteer to drive for him.
Antsy Uncle
Passive smoker
My boyfriend used to hardly smoke in the past but he has increased now to more than a pack a day. He blames it on his third year stress. I don’t like it, not just because it’s not good for health but also because it tastes horrible when he kisses me. How do I tell him that he needs to stop, for many reasons, without hurting his feelings?
A concerned girlfriend
Dear girlfriend,
Tell him that he tastes like an ashtray. I don’t think he would be too hurt if you say it nicely and give him a kiss at the end of it. Ok, I’m kidding! You may also want to download Tinder immediately after and begin swiping. First thing you need to do is get it out of his head that one needs to smoke more to handle stress. There is always kickboxing, working out or fighting with idiots on facebook in one of those Goa groups. They are great stressbusters. It’s not easy to kick the habit, I should know. But, it’s not impossible either, especially when it’s someone like your boyfriend who has started only recently. Show him what life is like without smoking. Use nicotine gum to wean him off it, or just tell him that too much smoking might affect his potency. No teenage boy would want to hear that.
Antsy Uncle
