Security is an illusion, it does not exist in nature nor do the children of men possess it’ is an old adage that sums the tragedy of the uncertainties of life. The theme itself lends narrative to some of the bestsellers in movies and literature and yet it is one of the biggest truth that each living human battles every day. Holding on to control, believing in the supremacy of this illusion, and losing to it, with tragedy and sadness.
Every time we hear the suddenness of any event, it baffles us as if this is the first time it is happening. It angers us as to why this reality persists. How do we make sense of seemingly normal life in the market place of Paris, turned upside down in the beat of a moment with terrorist attack? Or the streets of Bali, where the mood was fun and festivity and without warning the scene changed into doom and dread. Endless list of events, some far away in places we have never been and some in more familiar places we can visualize. Some, strangers battling with what we dread the most and some, friends that we lose in the beat of the same moment.
There is too much tragedy that we hear, read and watch every day. There is an overload of tragedy in our environment. So how does one make sense of emotionally exhaustive tragedies like terrorist attacks, natural disasters and sudden demise of loved ones? Can we give meaning to such events and remain objective? Is there a deeper meaning behind these seemingly random and tragic events or are such events a life sequence that is inevitable. What wisdom prevails from tragedy or are no lessons learned except intolerance.
We need to start at the beginning by defining tragic events. A human experience is considered tragic when the resultant behavior is afoul of your expectations, beyond your control to prevent the inevitable and causes suffering, distress and destruction. It’s not the resultant demise or suffering but our perceptions that matters.
The death of a person who is a friend in an accident is tragic but death of a stranger under similar circumstances becomes news. The death of an animal who is your pet is tragic but death of an animal which also becomes your food is not. A terrorist attack is tragic, but martyrdom is heroic.
Even so, most tragic events are disturbing. In the short span of 15 days we had to decipher news of two major terrorist attacks, floods, road accidents, crime, rape, and other brutalities. How does one even begin to interpret such events? Every day we are bombarded with news about tragic events all around us. What happens to the perception of control, predictability and security in our life?
We ask the question of why and seek whom to blame. With an overload of tragedy we try to hold on to what we believe that could keep us safe. We experience emotions of anger, frustrations and sadness. But then what do we do with these emotions. Do we acknowledge them or do we suppress them in our subconscious mind giving vent when things closer to home go wrong. Do we let these reactions become our fear? Thus does tragedy in fact heighten our reactions while dealing with our own personal loss?
In the face of personal tragedy it is natural to react, but are these reactions in fact overwhelming that stops us from dealing with our loss. One of the worst enemies of such emotional reactions is fear. Fear hijacks reason and rationality. We behave in ways we otherwise might have not done. We let fear make our decisions for us, compromising on things we would have otherwise loved to have done. We adopt a disempowering, fear-based context. We remove our frustrations often on innocent bystanders or on people that do not demand such reactions. Mobs join forces to give vent to such frustrations. The inability to control creates within us an immediate reaction of extreme intolerance.
Like joy, fear reactions are also contagious. Referred to as emotional contagion, fear spreads from person to person, creating panic and becomes a significant force in mob mentality.
One of the fall outs of fear reactions is that when we stop thinking rationally we behave irrationally. Following the bomb blasts in Mumbai, for example, the number of times the train was stopped by pulling of the chains because of a false alarm increased dramatically. It is the same reason when someone close to you dies unexpectedly that the fear that the same will happen is understandable. We’re taught that a painful, fear-based response is appropriate in certain circumstances. Yes if fear is going to increase our adrenaline in order that we fight or flee a dangerous situation, fear is good, otherwise fear is what stops us from looking at the larger picture. Hurting innocent people with our prejudices, and intolerance.
The challenge we face today is to be able to fall back and rely on facts and information. Challenging our fears and letting life take its course.
Dr Aldina Braganza e Gomes is a clinical psychologist, psychotherapist and associate professor, HOD, Dept of Psychology Carmel College
