BHARATI PAWASKAR
It is a heinous crime to involve minor children in sexual acts and Goa is registering increasing cases of such sexual abuse. The recent incident of a six-year-old boy falling prey to the sexual invasion from an 11-year old boy and, accidently, getting killed in the process of saving himself from this abuse, speaks a lot of the degrading state of our societal mind-set. It’s an eye opener.
TG Life spoke to few persons on the issue and the feedback that was received points out to the various aspects of the serious state of child insecurity the state is experiencing. Adv Sushma Mandrekar, chairperson, Goa State Committee for Chidren’s Rights is of the opinion that when cases of sexual abuse or any misdeeds with minor children happens in the state, it is noticed that 90 per cent of the victims are not from Goa. They are mostly migrant children whose families come to Goa in search of work. For obvious reasons, only 10 per cent of Goan kids may experience such incidents.
“It is seen that mostly children above five are the victims. The age can go up to 11. Kids between this age group are found more vulnerable and their security is at stake according to a study,” states Adv Mandrekar, adding,
Sharing his first-hand experiences of handling cases of child sexual abuse while he practiced in a remote village in Goa, Dr Nilesh Usgaonkar, a paediatrician from Margao, laments that in most of the cases the victim child did not get justice. “Usually migrant or street children are victims of pedophilia. Children from residential schools or those who travel by buses to schools also experience sexual abuse. There were cases of child sexual abuse even in some educated families. I have reported local police and NGOs and asked the parents to file a case. But unfortunately, parents do not turn up for counselling. This may be due to fear of being boycotted or labelled by the society. While illiterate and uneducated parents are not in a position to file cases, the educated ones shy from doing so. In both the cases, the child who has been a victim is denied justice,” maintains Dr Usgaonkar.
He suggests that sexual education is necessary in schools and children must be taught gender identity and normal anatomy. “There should be open talks wherein children must be taught moral values, to be affectionate and to respect each other. They must also be taught self-defense skills too. As the average age of puberty among girls is 8-12, and among boys is 10-15, parents must talk openly to them when a girl is 10 and the boy is 12 years of age. They must be made aware of the natural attraction towards the opposite sex in this age, and how to handle their emotions,” advises Dr Usgaonkar.
“Addressing adolescent psychosocial problems is very important and this subject must be brought in schools and colleges. A sexually abused child undergoes trauma and experiences fear, stress, depression, anger, resentment, hatred etc. As the child grows up, the incident leaves a deep scar on her/his mind. Sometimes the child, as an adult, becomes introvert, silent or even violent. Sometimes the child develops a suicidal tendency or turns a rebel. All these psychosomatic issues must be handled delicately by the parents as well as the society,” feels Dr Usgaonkar.
As a parent Devaki Rataboli expresses her concern, “As a mother of a seven-year-old old I am constantly worried about the safety of my son. Right from the time I had seen an episode in Satyameva Jayate where in the issue was about sexual abuse of young boys and paedophilia, the seed of fear and worry has been planted in my head. I never let my child be alone at home even with any domestic helper. Besides this I also keep a check on my child’s exposure by regularly checking his website surfing history.”
Rataboli shares, “We also talk to our son and engage him in long playful conversations to gauge what topics are trending between him and his friends. We have already started elementary level sex education talks with him by explaining to him what is a ‘good touch’ and what is a ‘bad touch’. What are private parts and why nobody should be allowed to touch him neither should he ever indulge in such a deed. Parenting websites say that we need to start educating kids about sexual orientation and awareness from the age of seven. Parents should be open to queries of children and not shy away from the topic as when the children feel they have not been adequately satisfied with answers to their curiosity they turn to peers who may also be ill informed or rather not the right source of information. Besides when a trusted bond is built between parents and children, the children remain more secure and well grounded.”
“The degradation of society may be happening as a result of a vicious circle of abused adults or children who have a tendency to pass it on as act of vengeance. In the case of the Vasco minor boy incident that if a 11-year-old has committed this alleged crime of this nature, it is most likely that he has suffered similar abuse himself,” feels Rataboli.
While stressing on the importance of counselling, psychologist and project lead, Adolescence Health projects, Sangath, Prachi Khandeparkar points out, “It is scary when we look the age at which children are engaging in sexual activity. There are various reasons why children indulge in sexual activity at a young age today. Today’s generation does not have patience, or value hard work, parents also overprotect and fulfil all wishes hence children do not value at times. There is a competition to achieve success or any desired object, even money, quickly. The spirit of healthy competition is lost. Technology is ruling their world. Children don’t have proper factual information and they indulge in risk taking behaviours like smoking,drinking and even sex. They are implusive and get influenced by their peers easily. Questions like - is it my age to do this , or can I wait - do not pop up in their minds. This picture is really scary, it is because the way an adolescent brain is wired.”
Prachi shares that for street children, it is easier to witness sexual activities in and around them. They are more exposed to visual things and this may lead to indulging themselves in such activities. Some of them, most of the time, may be victims themselves. So as they grow older this role of victim may change into a perpetrator themselves. They lack correct information eg they don’t know that there are legality involved (age to do this act or that it needs the consent of the other person).
When a child is sexually abused, the parents try not to talk about it, especially if the perpetrator is known or a family member. Then the person abusing may continue to do so or may shift to some other kid. These culprits must be socially isolated. Parents must come forward to protect their child and punish the person who does this crime. But as a society we generally do not talk about it and keep it to ourselves. This makes the culprit to make advances. Mostly people in power do this and not only do strangers take advantage, sometimes the maximum abuse and harm is done by known persons.
As an adult, we must know our role. A paedophile has a tendency to abuse kids. This must be stopped and exposed. As a society we should be talking on this and not pushing it under the carpet.
Every child has a right to person space. If the child is constantly feeling insecure, is traumatized or under stress and is asking the question ‘why me’ when someone abuses him/her, are we assuring her/him social security? Sometimes the perpetrator abuses and threatens the child not to disclose the act to elders. This confuses and harms the child’s psychology.
Prachi feels, “Awareness is best remedy. Parents must have an open dialogue with their children and take a stand seriously if something unusual or wrong happens to their child. Counselling is must in schools and colleges. And if we look at the numbers, it’s not always the girls who are abused. Boys too are equally abused sexually, as 51 per cent girls and 49 per cent boys undergo this traumatic experience, according to figures.”
