If a parent is asked whether they would be happy if their child scored 95 per cent in an examination, most parents would say yes. But what if, for the next 20 years, that child worked in a profession they never truly wanted? What if those high marks led them down a path that left them unfulfilled, unmotivated and quietly unhappy? Would those marks still matter as much? “The goal is not to choose a career for a child. The goal is to help a child choose wisely.”
Parents naturally want the best for their children. This is a universally accepted truth, and it is important to acknowledge the love, sacrifice and genuine concern that drive most parents when they become involved in their child’s career decisions. However, there is a critical difference between guidance and pressure, and this line is frequently crossed in the Indian family context without either the parent or the child fully realising it. In my 36 years in the teaching profession, I have seen many parents push their children towards medicine, engineering or law, not necessarily because these careers suit the child, but because they represent social prestige, financial security or family legacy. “Choosing a career because your friends are choosing it is like choosing a shoe size based on someone else’s feet.”
Peer influence is also a powerful factor. Adolescence is a time when belonging and social acceptance are deeply important psychological needs. When a student sees all their friends choosing medicine or engineering, the pressure to conform can be overwhelming. The fear of being left out or being seen as less ambitious can drive many students towards streams and colleges that are simply not right for them. Decisions made at the age of 16 or 17 can take years to correct. The emotional and psychological cost of pursuing an ill-fitting career can be enormous, affecting a child’s confidence, motivation, happiness and overall well-being.
Diomedes Romano Pereira, Corlim
