Watching the news has turned into a traumatic experience for many a sensitive soul. Every broadcast is filled with violence and corruption and things movies are made of. Sometimes, I find it difficult to believe I am actually watching news reports from around the globe because of the sheer brutality that is being reported.
We have just come past a few horrifying incidences of terrorist brutality where murder and violence of the worst kind were reported. The sad reality is that these attacks have proved that we humans are turning grotesquely impulsive and wild in our reactions.
Yes, we could argue that to turn someone into a terrorist is a long process that encompasses violence and tremendous amounts of brainwashing (to use a lay term). What excuse do we have to explain other recent brutal acts like the mindless flinging of an innocent dog from the top of a building by two individuals studying to be doctors nonetheless and the core of this article, the attack on young Swathi, who was hacked to death by a stalker on her way to work in broad daylight.
One of the most important things that separates us from animals is our ability to think rationally and act purposefully. That’s what psychology says. But here we stand today, on the precipice of the so called developed world, the top of the food chain and the ones who hold the reigns, still not capable of rational thought and action. We fall in love and then go insane. That’s what it seems like today. Indian cinema glorifies the stalker behavior. As women we rant and rave about how we get disgusted by the way we are ogled at by men as we walk down the street, and yet when the same is depicted on screen, we find it endearing. The media gives us what we want, and when we glorify these mindless acts and even cheer for the sullen hero who follows the giggly heroine around till she finally relents, we are literally adding fuel to the fire and actually kindling a very dangerous flame. This recent crime of passion and the disheartening reactions to the girl and her character speaks of the despicable level of understanding we display. When did we turn so insensitive? When did we lose our basic human tendencies of humanity?
In a patriarchal society which we sadly continue to be, men are allowed to think that women are theirs for the taking. As a society we send out these nasty messages through movies, music and most disturbingly in the way we bring up our children. Everywhere there are messages that hit out subliminally stating that ‘the man is allowed to fall head over heels and if you persist and pursue long enough the female will eventually relent. Why? Because you are God’s gift to women.’ This is laughable, especially today. Every two or three websites I skim read to get the facts for this article right had tips on how the woman needs to learn from incidents like these, what measures the woman needs to take to prevent such incidents and yes how to carry herself in public. So my understanding is thus... A woman gets stalked, she has to learn to deal. A woman gets raped, she has to be more careful. A woman gets murdered, she was probably not careful enough. So in all these cases where the woman has fallen victim, the man doesn’t really have to learn anything new because his mama said ‘don’t worry beta, you are always right’. Thus is born a race of individuals who grow up thinking it is their right to be accepted beyond rational thought.
Yes, as women we have to be vigilant. If we feel unsafe we need to report it. If we are unnerved by the presence of someone and they make us feel uncomfortable, we have to do everything possible to protect ourselves. But before all of that, dear men, a no is a no. if a woman says it softly, it’s the same as if she yells it at you. Unlike the messages you receive from the magical world of television, the chase is not all that exciting, especially when it borders on the creepy. When a girl says she’s not interested, there is no deeper meaning. And please oh please! This if I can’t have her no one can line is just plain madness. If you were worth her, trust me she’d be with you, she wouldn’t be yours because hey, no one owns anyone, but she would give you the time of day. To the men who have been taught all these things and treat their women right, thank you and keep up the great work, for the rest, there’s no greater turn off than the fatally attracted.
