I am a 26-year-old working woman and have been in love witha boy for the last two years. The weird behaviour that my boyfriend sometimesdisplays leaves me perplexed. He has a raging temper and breaks things when heis angry. He once broke my phone and the gold chain on my neck. Since we haveaccess to each other’s email accounts, he one day deleted all my mails which Ibelieve was a cruel joke. I had also got a job into a very good company and hemade me quit it and refused to say why. I of course complied, because I lovehim and I want to marry him. I however feel insecure. Please advise.
Shalini Raiturkar
Dear Shalini
I bow to your stupidity for putting up with your boyfriendthis long. Loving someone means respecting yourself first, which I do not seein you. First, I do not understand why you quit your job just ‘because’ he toldyou to do so. Don’t you have a mind of your own? Don’t you think you deservebetter than a guy who lives in an archaic period where women would scamper tofollow orders from men? Second, his temper seems unhealthy and very expensive Imust say. How much of this destruction do you see yourself tolerating for therest of your life considering you go ahead and marry him (and this I would termas a very foolish decision)? And third, ask yourself if he loves you. CL, getsome respect for yourself, do not allow him to trample on your dignity and walkaway from this relationship with your head held high. You are right in feelinginsecure.
Aunty Know-All
Ex cannot get over me
I split with my boyfriend of a year. But he keeps callingand doesn’t seem to get it that I have moved on and so should he. Once, when Ileft my mobile at home, I found 102 missed calls from him. How can I make himstop badgering me?
Hassled Girl
Dear HG, this is a time when the written word works best.Tell him not that you don’t love him. You need time and space alone to discoverwho you are. Make no promise of friendship or anything else, just thank him foran important year and wish him well.
Aunty Know-All
They believe I am in school
I am in my late 20s and a managing director for a firm. Ilive with my parents. My problem is, my parents still treat me like I am asmall little boy. They yell when I come home late from a party, they makeunreasonable demands on my time and they order me around. They expect me to behome as early as 7:30 in the evening. When I don’t they incessantly call on mymobile.
I need to have a life, socialise and hang out with my friendsafter having worked hard during the entire week and their behaviour isembarrassing and irritating. How do I make my parents understand this?
”Justin Fernandes
Dear Justin
This is clearly a situation of a generation gap. Your parentsare still living by the rules that were imposed on them when they wereyoungsters. You however have to sit them down and communicate to them thattimes have changed “ they did not use mobiles back then, they do so now.Similarly, how people spend their free time has also changed. There are morethings to do, more people to meet, more connections to make. You are grown upand curfew of the kind they are imposing makes little sense. Communication isthe key here, Justin. Unless you speak, they will not know your side of thestory. Be firm, and if they still do not understand, perhaps you shouldconsider moving out for a while.
Aunty Know-All
