A “ A is for a lot of things, but in this case, we’re referring to Anger. Don’t look back in Anger, like the Oasis song says. The year 2015 may have a lot of downs, but concentrate on the ups, but not those that made your head heavy the next morning. Look back at the year with a smile, unless of course, you’re Steve Harvey, who hosted the Miss Universe pageant. Steve better stay away from visiting Columbia, there’s a whole lotta anger there.
B “ Be a Badass. No that doesn’t mean you go around being mean to everyone. Being mean never got anyone further in life, apart from those pro-wrestling guys. But that’s probably because of all those anabolic steroids. The word ‘bad’ in here means ‘good’. A Badass is someone who can take the rough with the smooth and sail through those moments with their chin up.
C “ Be open to Criticism. Everyone’s getting a tad too sensitive. Constructive criticism is good for you. The next time someone in the know (Read: older and wiser) tells you to change something, or tone down something else, DO NOT threaten to maim him or her. Be nice and smile. Do not vent on facebook. Go to the sports store and buy a punching bag. Put Donald Trump’s picture on it. C is also for Cake. It would be nice if you could buy some and send it over to our office.
D “ Everyone’s got to have Drive. It’s what keeps you focused on your goals. Make a list of the things that you need to do or want to do and work towards it with sheer intensity. Let 2016 be a year where you achieve a few things that you want to, where you take that holiday or buy that engagement ring even though it’s so expensive that you wish you were getting paid much more. Drive will take you further than you have ever gone before. Literally! Also, if you are driving, be nice and stick to the rules. Nobody likes a guy who drives on the wrong side of the road, or with the headlights on full.
E “ Exercise a lot more this year. Exercise is good. It’s healthy, it gets your bloody flowing and it might just help you shed some of that fat that you accumulated indulging in sweets and heavy food over the Christmas season, especially those of you who helped yourself to a little extra sorpotel. Yes, you hiding in the corner. Take a walk, join a gym, or just irritate a bunch of your neighbourhood dogs. See M for Motivation. E also stands for Environment. Make sure you do good by Mother Earth. Get a car that pollutes less, use recycled paper. There are so many things you can do to live a greener life. Start now!
F “ Forgive and forget. Why carry a grudge over into the other year? All that aggression is like a wound that festers. We’ll not get descriptive just in case you’re reading this while eating, but you get the point. Let bygones be bygones. That girl who dumped you, that boy who stabbed you in the back, that colleague who ate the piece of cake meant for you, you should forgive and forget all of that. However, in case you don’t, all that exercise will help when you have to chase them down the street, flinging things at them.
G “ Who doesn’t have goals? Everyone does, even if you play basketball professionally. If you have the drive and are motivated, you need those goals to strive towards, that bar of excellence that needs to be achieved. Keep your eyes on your goals. Yes, eyes up there. Everyone needs goals and everyone needs to Motivation to get there. Yes, this entire article is one big circle. The goal was to get you to read it and smile. You know what a smile is right? Say cheese!
H “ You are human. Always keep in touch with your humanity. It keeps you humble. It keeps the hubris away. Humanity is simple, just like hummus. One keeps you grounded, the other just tastes awesome. Be human (This part of the article was NOT sponsored by some Khan). Open the door for someone, slow down and let the other car, bike or person cross the road, smile when your building watchman opens the gate, thank the lady at the supermarket who fills your bag. Being human can make you feel warm inside. Feni does too, but then it doesn’t start with H. Hug people. Yes, another H you can attempt.
I “ I is for iiiiiiiicreaammm! I is also for ingenuity and innovation. Be different, do something different. Think of something unique that could change your life or someone else’s. If you’re innovative at work, who knows where that could take you. You could buy that car you always wanted, or take a trip to Bangkok. The ‘I’ could change your life. But, somehow we keep coming back to icecream.
J “ Joy to the world, the new year is upon us. 2016 promises to be a joyous year. Because we say so. Life wouldn’t be the same without joy. Give a young child a little gift, however small, and see the joy in their eyes. That’s how simple joy can be. You don’t always need to make a big gesture to bring joy to people’s lives. Sometimes, even the smallest gesture can make a big difference. Speaking of gestures, have you picked up that cake for us yet?
K “ Kickstart something new in 2016. It could be that blog you always wanted to write but never did because you never made the time. Make the time now and do it. It doesn’t have to be a large project. You can put the building of your spaceship on hold. Indefinitely. But something else that is small enough to handle, yet big enough to motivate you should be started. Speaking of kicks, never spare a bender.
L “ Love, the most power L of all. Love makes the world go round. Love is a many splendoured thing. Love lifts you up where you belong. Those are some of the love songs that you should not put on a mixtape for your better half. L also stands for lifestyle, which is a little less sappy than love. In today’s world, your lifestyle is important. You need to have a balanced lifestyle. Work hard, but leave your troubles at the door. Don’t do that and you can forget about Love. But seriously, a well-balanced lifestyle is what will extend your life by a few years. Live it to the fullest.
M “ Motivation is the key to almost anything. Even serial killers are motivated. This is what you get from watching too much Criminal Minds. If you have the right motivation, anything is possible, apart from time travel. Leave that to Marty McFly. Know that if you do something, your reward will be x. Let the x motivate you. Let the x be that finish line you should concentrate on. However do not forget that everything is a journey, so enjoy it. Speaking of journeys, x also marks the spot, so put an x on a map, draw a few rupee notes and leave it somewhere for an aspiring ‘Long John Silver’ to find.
N “ Negativity gets you down, just like Motivation gets you up. The last thing you need going into 2016 is negativity. Leave those negative groups on facebook that are only engaging in vitriol and not coming up with anything constructive. Tell those negative friends of yours to stop the nonsense talk. Stay positive. Negativity will just hamper your chances in achieving what you want to achieve in 2016.
O “ Be Original. No one likes a copycat. An original idea could catapult you to the heavens. See what it did for Mark Zuckerberg (sic!). Being original doesn’t just mean coming up with something original at work. It also applies to the way you dress, what you eat, how you talk and how you treat people. Doing what someone else does just flatters them, but doesn’t let you be who you are. Do not be afraid to show people your true self. Fear is what takes you over to the dark side, just ask Anakin Skywalker.
P “ Practice what you do. No matter how long you’ve been doing it, you need to practice. If you’re a musician or a writer, a butcher, a baker or a candlestick maker, you need to practice to keep your skills sharp and your mind too. You know what they say, practice makes perfect. By the way, can someone let us know who the ‘they’ is? Did they practice too? P is also for Plastic. Use less of it and help save the world.
Q “ Question everyone and everything. Do it carefully though, or they may call you can inquisitive fool and ostracise and then you’ll end up sitting in a room with only cats for company, writing incredulous stories like the A to Z for 2016. Moving on… Question everything because in this world of social media, where fibs can turn into ‘facts’ by virtue of a gullible few, you need to know what the truth is before retweeting, reposting, or re anything. Always be sure that you are in the right before you do anything today, and this is where asking the right questions can help.
R “ Read as much as you can. Let that reading habit never die out. All the tabs, smartphones, phablets and other gadgets in the world don’t really compare to the joy of a great book. Besides, books, magazines and (most) newspapers are where you’re sure you will get the right information. It’s where people who are trained to write the right way are employed. Read lets you know what’s going on in this world. Of course these days, it’s easier to read online. So, read e-books, e-mags and e-papers.
S “ There are so many things starting with the letter S that can benefit you this coming year. It got so confusing we had to play Name, Place, Animal, Thing for a while. S is for Spirituality. In this world of such terrifying incidents, of rabble rousers on the internet and on the ground, of organisations that kill for no reason, spirituality is what keeps your feet on the ground. Never forget that you are human and there is a higher power at work here. Breath, stay calm and go on living but do the right thing by yourself and the ones you love. Never veer off into the danger area.
T “ Drink a lot of green Tea, but more than that, Travel. Ever wondered why a person who was well-travelled was respected so much? It’s simply because seeing different places and meeting different people just lets you know that while you’re unique, others are too. Everyone has their place in this world and a job to do. Understanding what makes others tick also gives your life and your duties to this world better perspective. T also stands for Temptation. Never give into it, unless it’s chocolate.
U “ Be Unflinching in the face of adversity. There are many times in your life when you will be faced with a conundrum, with a seemingly insurmountable problem, don’t fear and don’t despair when you get knocked down. You just need to pull up your socks and get back up. Face the problem head on, use your wits, your knowledge and your wherewithal. If at all it doesn’t work, call on the A Team, the Ghostbusters or the Clone Army. But, try and do it yourself because none of the three really exist, like Santa Claus.
V “ We chose Victory, because V for Vindaloo would just get us hungry to the point where we could perhaps forget about completing this list and go hunting for some spicy curry. Victory it is. When you win or achieve something great, be gracious in victory. Remember those who helped you get to where you are now. Thank them. Have a special mention for those who lent you their shoulders to stand on. Buy them a new shirt while you’re at it. History has always been written by winners. Be one of them. And do NOT flash the V sign. It’s ludicrous!
W “ Drink lots of water. Always remember to stay hydrated. You also need to remember to save some of your Wealth. That rainy day can come anytime. Your wealth is your weapon to ensure your well-being when you are in the twilight years of your life. If you haven’t yet started a mutual fund or any other saving mechanism, then start it this 2016. It really helps to save for the future.
X “ When you’re feeling down, take a Xana…ooops! Wrong word file. X is an unusual letter, simply because there are just a few word to choose from. Given the world today and the troubles we have, Xenophobia is an apt choice. Xenophobia in the dictionary means a hatred or dislike for people from other countries. In Goa, we’ll switch countries for states. There are bigger problems that this world is facing than people coming here to work and live. Don’t be a hater. You’re always a stranger outside your town or village. A Xenophobe is simply someone who thinks he’s superior to the rest of the world. Case in point “ Donald Trump. Have you seen that thing he calls his hair? Have you heard him speak? Exactly. Be nice. The world will be nice to you.
Y “ Youth is not a bad word, even if you’re 42 years old, balding and using your potbelly to balance your plate while you eat. All of us remember our youth fondly. Yes, we all did crazy things and made mistakes. But, most of us learned valuable lessons from them. Let your children and others make the same mistakes. Guide them with a gentle hand. They will learn the same way you did. “Why do we fall? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up,” said Thomas Wayne to little Bruce in Batman Begins. Do also remember, that you too can always be young at heart. No, do not go out on a bender like you did that one time when you were 19.
Z “ When in doubt, wear black. When you’re troubled, be zen-like. Breathe, think happy thoughts and calm down. When your mind is at peace you will be able to think clearly. That is why you need to stop stressing out. Stress has never done anything good for anyone. In fact, these days it’s turned into a killer. Always be a zen person. And relax. Not be to confused with zzzzzz. Sleeping is not part of this story.
