Part 7 of a Weekly Series for Parents of Middle-School Children
In ourprevious article, we discussed why timing—particularly themiddle-school years—plays a crucial role in shaping habits andcharacter. Yet for many parents, one concern outweighs all others:How will my child cope away from home?
Homesicknessis real. It is not a weakness, nor a sign of emotional fragility. Itis a natural response to change. The question is not whether childrenfeel it—but how they are supported through it.
The firsttruth parents must accept is that adjustment is a process, not anevent. The initial weeks in a boarding environment may involveemotional fluctuations—missing family routines, siblings, familiarcomforts. However, in a well-structured Sainik School ecosystem,children are not left alone to “figure it out.”
Supportbegins with routine. Predictable schedules reduce anxiety. Whenchildren know what to expect each day—wake-up time, classes, meals,sports, study hours—the mind feels secure. Structure createspsychological stability.
Equallyimportant is mentorship. In leadership-oriented institutions,teachers and house masters are more than subject instructors; theyare daily observers of student wellbeing. They notice behaviouralshifts, quiet withdrawal, or mood changes. Early conversations,encouragement, and consistent guidance prevent small concerns frombecoming larger issues.
Peerbonding plays an equally powerful role. Children quickly realize theyare not alone in their feelings. Shared experiences—sports, meals,study sessions—create friendships that often become lifelong. Asense of belonging gradually replaces initial hesitation.
Parents,too, are part of the support system. Balanced communication is key.Frequent reassurance is helpful—but excessive emotional dependencecan prolong adjustment. When parents convey confidence in theirchild’s ability to adapt, children internalize that belief.
It isalso important to distinguish between discomfort and distress. Alittle discomfort is developmental—it builds coping skills andresilience. Persistent distress, however, requires attentiveinstitutional response. Well-managed schools have systems to addresssuch concerns promptly and sensitively.
Forfamilies in culturally rooted states like Goa/Konkan, whereclose-knit bonds are cherished, the thought of distance can feelparticularly intense. Yet many parents later observe a meaningfulshift: children return home during vacations more responsible,communicative, and appreciative. Independence does not weaken familybonds—it often strengthens them.
Livingaway from home teaches practical life skills that are difficult tocultivate otherwise—self-care, time management, conflictresolution, and accountability. These lessons, learned gradually andunder supervision, prepare children for higher education and adultlife.
The goalof hostel life is not to detach children from their families; it isto equip them to stand confidently on their own feet while stayingemotionally connected.
In thenext article, we will explore what parents often notice after oneyear in such an environment:
What visible transformations occurin confidence, communication, and responsibility?
(Theauthor is Commandant, Yashwantrao Bhonsale Sainik School and CEO,Bhonsale Knowledge City Sawantwadi, District Sindhudurga,Maharashtra. As a Counselling Psychologist and an Educationist he isdeeply engaged in mentoring students and guiding parents. He ispassionate about character formation, holistic education, andpreparing young minds for the demands of a complex future. You canreach out to him on ceo-bkc@ybit.ac.in)
