Many times, we like to wallow in our past and think of itwith self pity “ oh what a life that was “ before marriage, before kids, in aprevious job, in another city or in a relationship. That was then. This is now.
If you have been through a rough patch at work or in arelationship, hurt is no stranger to you. At the end of the day, we all haveour share of joys and sorrows. What varies is the extent of impact such anexperience might have in our lives. What can keep us going is the ability torecognize that experiences are transient and life is about moving on todiscover new experiences.
When we take up a new job, we do spend that extra timegetting to know people, getting to know the business and what we need to do, sowe can belong and feel at home. When we start a new relationship, be it amarriage or something else, we do need to spend that extra time and go thatextra mile. Being optimistic is different from romanticizing. Just thinkingabout something, like being in love with the feeling of being in love, oftenresults in disillusionment because we may not be applying thought, we may onlyhave feelings.
Experiencing a loss has not been easy for any one of us.Thinking of it as a reason to transform and change is a wonderful way ofturning ourselves from darkness to light. If everything we experience is meantto be, then it is only natural for us to believe that there is something betterin store for us and if we don’t know what that is, it is important that weexplore and discover it. If we cannot discover it, we create it. Bouncing backis really about creating a new experience, now.
We have heard of rebounds in relationships. The thing with arebound is that it keeps the negative momentum going. The best way to bounceback from pain is to stop, to breathe and to make the time to heal. Humanbeings are gifted with the ability to self-heal if given sufficient time. Mostwounds do heal with care and the healing comes from within. Being surrounded bypeople who care about us helps. However, surrounding ourselves with people towhom we need to give and beginning to expect ourselves to give before we havehealed is perhaps where we tend to falter. Being without a relationship for awhile after a relationship has gone sour, increases the possibility of ourcreating a long lasting and fulfilling relationship.
So if you are hurt, it is ok to lie low. That does not meanyou turn anti-social. It simply means you watch yourself a little more. Pamperyourself. Be with yourself. Allow yourself to heal. Once you have healed, youare all set to let go and be free. When you were hurt the last time, did youallow yourself time to heal?
