Pretence. What is the first word that comes to your mindwhen you hear this word? Acting? Play? Something else? Being a single child, my daughter tends totry and make friends. Since she is just 4 and a bit shy, I noticed that she isnot sure about how to approach people and initiate conversations. I decided toput my expertise of 14 years of learning and development to practice.
One of the most effective tools to teach anyone how to dosomething, especially related to sayingsomething and helping them practice a situation, is the use of role plays. Ipretended to be her and she pretended to be her friend and we spoke about howwe would initiate a conversation, what are some ways it could evolve etc. Wedid this a few times as she loved the concept of pretend play as do manychildren.
Later, as I was reflecting on how this was such aninteresting way of teaching a child a different way to respond rather thanusing instructions, I figured it is, in fact, a very powerful way for adults tochange their responses too.
I have tried it a few times myself. Sometimes, in the past,when I have found myself at a point when you just don’t know what to do, I havethought about someone I look up to and thought about what they might have doneand attempted to do that. Eventually, I might have handled the situationdifferently than they might have but in that moment, I was able to get past myown block and move ahead with a response.
I think this might be an interesting way to try and addressanger. If you are angry at someone for something (which you in all likelihood,know was not really done intentionally) and want to just lash out, think ofyourself being in a role play. Imagine that you are lashing out at a funnybunny or that you are wearing an angel’s costume and are supposed to reprimandsomeone on stage. What would you say then? If you are able to control yourlaughter, you might end up smiling. That might change what follows. If you do this a few times and succeed inbreaking your pattern of behavior, soon you would be able to develop your ownunique way of dealing with the situation without having to resort to pretendplay.
Choose to try new ways. Pretend. Let me know how that worksfor you.
