Some years ago, on my birthday I thanked my mother fortaking all the trouble of nourishing me in her womb for nine months, forspending sleepless nights watching over me and for sacrificing so much for me.You may ask why the ‘Thank You’ came so late? Well, I came to appreciate herdedication and love because last year I had my second baby and I was once againmade aware of the joys and sacrifices of being awarded with the title of‘mother’.
As a child I remember being brought up in a joint family,with the attention and love of not only my parents, but my grandparents, unclesand aunts and growing up with a dozen cousins. While this creates a micro worldof different people, it comes with the disadvantage of compromising one’s spaceand privacy. One also has to consider that the grandparents, with their loveand care interrupt strict upbringing by and pampering and spoiling the child.That is when all the trouble starts and so do the misunderstandings and so mostcouples choose to live as a nuclear family. Higher standards of living, jobs indifferent locations and schooling also make it necessary to be nuclear in thecity, something that cannot be helped.
While moving out gives space, privacy and freedom, theparents, especially the mother now has a greater responsibility to look afterthe child all by herself; no woman is born with the skills of being a perfectmother, it happens only with time, the experience of every day adding up andinstinct. A trusted, full-time nanny makes it easier to get things organizedand follow ambitions/careers. However, there is the downside of not being thereto see your child grow. It is a sacrifice either way, and I have seen manymothers take the difficult decision of either giving up a career or giving uptime with their children. I chose the former, and though I sometimes yearn tobe at work, to earn some of my own money, I also find being there for mychildren very fulfilling.
Working at an office is only a 9am to 6pm job but being athome is a 24/7 job without pay, sick leave, and public holidays. Of course thetight hugs and kisses from our little ones and a husband who comes home to aplace where he can relax and forget all the stress of work makes it all worththe while. And I believe this is how relationships get stronger. With the mediamaking one aware of the ill-effects of neglecting children, I would say thatrelationships are built on quality time: taking up your children’s studies andtalking to them about their day at school, reading bedtime stories and eatingat least one meal together. Weekends need to be peppered with outings to thepark or beach.
Come to think of it, children do not need much; all they askfor is assurance from their parents that they are always there for them.
Michelle is a homemaker who gave up her job at HiltonFujairah and moved to Goa when she had a baby
